Thinking of doing OLD for the first time - advice?

[HulaChick]

Hello All,
I'm 53, been divorced for 2 years, had a FWB who is a very important part of my life (but mainly as a friend and not available for a full blown relationship) and am thinking about having a go at OLD. The thing is, I'm not looking for a 'happy ever after' as I don't want to ever fully relinquish my freedom after divorce but, at the same time, not looking gor a 'just sex' relationship. So, am wondering how I go about making a profile that doesn't put 'serious' men off and doesn't attract men just looking for a shag. I like my own space, independence, don't ever want to live with anyone again but at the same time would like to find someone who cares and would be up for being OK with maybe a once or twice a week meeting up relationship. Is this impossible? Thanks in advance!!

it's actually quite common.

Sign up and set your status to “long term” don’t go for casual” or “not sure” or the equivalent and look for someone who lives far enough away so that you have to make an effort to meet up with each other rather than someone who will pop in on their way to Tesco..
it’s a minefield out there but be brave and hopefully you will find what you want…

@Robinkitty. Thank you for your advice. Will definitely consider putting long term, although not sure I actually want the reality of a proper longterm relationship. Also, I'd really rather find someone close by so meeting up is not a big chore of driving & planning, rather than being spontaneous.

How much detail is expected in the actual body of a profile? I've never even looked at a dating site!

Being honest as someone a similar age, there’s a lot of wronguns on OLD in the mature age group. You need a thick skin and a strong filtering system. You can put in bold letters that you’re looking for a relationship and not interested in casual and you’ll still get men after sex. Just roll your eyes and delete

Might be worth joining the dating thread - there’s others on there doing OLD so can share experiences and give advice.

In regards to the info on your profile.. personally I’ve not had one other than filling in the tick boxes..
men will swipe based on your pictures, they will then check your stats once you’ve matched.. generally I’ve just left mine blank other than basic facts like height etc and never had an issue..
even if your not looking for long term I would keep that to yourself otherwise you may end up getting those looking for a fling.. and yes join the OLD thread, it’s ace for support.

I'd just put the basics in. Meet people based on the quality of their chat. Find out their name and search them on socials. Plenty have pre existing relationships. Meet up and decide if you want to see them again. If you do, that's when I'd talk to them about what their situation is and what you/ they're looking for. I reckon most interested men will go along with what you're after. I'm assumingnyou wouldn't expect an arrangement like that to be monogamous? I think that'd be tricky