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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I wrong for cutting off friend?

5 replies

JeyK · 08/04/2024 16:19

Hey guys just wanted another perspective as am feeling abit weird after being confronted by a distant friend.

Long story short me and this girl go way back since college (we are now in our late 20s). Both have had a young child, mine being a few years older. We used to be quite close but I just felt over the last year or so I’ve just gone through some personal changes on my self discovery journey & in this time, a lot of people have fallen away and I’ve found it easier to detach myself from situations when I feel it has ran its course. either way I didn’t do anything about this, I just left it to kind of fade out as there wasn’t a direct issue for me to address.

I recently started to notice this same friend being quite friendly with another old friend of mine who she knows has done some sinister things towards me (they were never friends previously). Something in me previously has never trusted her 100% in general as I know she can be a bit of a gossiper, So I just felt abit weird about it.

I’d admit it did trigger me and I decided to remove her off my social media. It’s not so much them now being friends that’s the problem, it’s more I don’t want to have access to this kind of dynamic or be able to witness anything that could potentially trigger me. I’d rather get on with my life free from any drama or gossip.

This friend noticed I removed her & in less than 24 hrs, called me confronting me about removing her calling me childish etc. we haven’t spoken for over 6 months so I didn’t know this would be such an issue.

I do feel a little thrown back as I wasn’t expecting the confrontation. The empath in me does feel bad, but at the same time I am allowed to have boundaries..but am I wrong in my reasons & for not announcing it? I honestly didn’t even think she would notice.

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
Catoo · 08/04/2024 16:29

You can remove links to people on your social media accounts for whatever reason you want and whenever you like without providing any explanation.

By ringing up to call you names etc and not being more reasonable I think it shows you made the right decision about this person. Doesn’t sound like she considered anything beyond her own hurt feelings.

Watchkeys · 08/04/2024 16:31

Wrong according to what rules? Who decides what's the right/wrong thing for you to do?

CulturalNomad · 08/04/2024 16:35

I'm sorry, but this all sounds very immature.

Remove who you want from social media, it's totally your choice. Don't waste your time with petty, manufactured intrigue and drama; life doesn't have to be a cheesy reality show.

Spreadthehappiness · 08/04/2024 16:40

The fact that she noticed within 24 hours says a lot, especially as you don’t talk anymore . She was keeping an eye on you and I have a feeling it was not with good intentions. You made the right decision removing her off social media .

HopeFloatsAbove · 08/04/2024 17:39

Oh my what a diva, bet you are now thinking that you did the right thing.

If someone removed my off social media, never would I even consider confronting it or calling it out. Life happens and people change, you do not own this individual an explanation. None.

Social media is such a strange place, its not a lifetime contract.

Your friends sounds unhinged.

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