Is this normal?

[grumpycat7]

I joined a couple of dating apps for the first time recently. Had a few conversations with people which fizzled out after a few days, except with one man. We chatted and then after a few more days swapped numbers. After about ten days of talking we arranged to meet up today. I was talking to him last night and all seemed normal. I text this morning to confirm a time for this afternoon and it has been radio silence since.

Is this normal for dating apps? The mind boggles.

Yes I had a few like that when On line dating. Seems so odd to go to all the trouble of talking and arranging a date to suddenly ghost. You will probably hear from them later apologising, saying they had an emergency and ask about another date. My advice - don't fall for it.

It happens sometimes.

Either their wife has caught them or, they never wanted to meet but only to chat for their ego, so they dick you around.

Or worse, they're testing your boundaries and will come back with a shit excuse in a day or so and see if you'll accept it and rearrange. Then they know you can be manipulated. Plenty of predators like that around unfortunately.

Just block.

Online dating is brutal. But it works better if you get it down to an exact art. Two or three chats tops then arrange a meet (ideally within a week). If they are wishy washy or only seem to want to chat or cancel without good reason, delete and move on.

Yes, cut down on the chat, arrange a date within a few days. You'll get plenty of no shows (married or scared or both) and you'll get plenty of OMG no moments, but you might just meet someone you have a spark with. It's a numbers game. Try and date once a week.

And try to arrange a time and place for dates at the initial 'let's go on a date' convo. Leaving it open to the actual day might imply you have too much or, not enough fee time. Or are wishy washy about meeting. Or that they are an afterthought to be squeezed in.

Set a rough date, even.
Eg '2ish on friday at the coffee shack suit?'
Get something in the diary, not just a 'oh maybe we could do something friday'.

I'm so cross with myself for thinking he was interested. What a waste of 10 days!

But why, how were you to know? Some of them are just like this. There could be a number of reasons why: married, looking for an ego boost in haing someone interested in them, scarred by past experiences/not ready for a relationship, lack of confidence/chickened out - not one of those options is a you problem.

You were all absolutely correct - guess who I received a text from yesterday 🙄 No apology though, just a 'Hey, how are you?'

How predictable. I'd just respond with "fine thanks" and leave it at that

Basically he’s tried his luck elsewhere and coming back see who’s still interested.

Id reply 👍 and leave it at that.

It's normal for people in general, it's not about dating apps. People have been letting each other down since the beginning of time.

Why is the behaviour of someone you've never met of such concern to you? That's the issue here, from your perspective. Being let down is part of life. Whether you let it get to you is the bit you can do something about.