DD is 6. After many years in the family court system where her father was having contact centre contact only for many years she is now starting to have unsupported contact.
DD was 1.5 when she started going to the contact centre and it has only recently concluded.
DDs father is a domestic abuser of the worst kind.
We are several contacts into unsupervised and each time she absolutely clings onto me. Tells me she doesn't want to go. Sobs, cries, refuses to walk.. its utterly heartbreaking. This weekend her father had to prise her off me whilst she was clinging on.
She's being forced to endure it by a court order.
DD is also aware she will soon start overnights and she is utterly distraught by the prospect of it and cries and cries and cries. I try my very best to talk positively about it to her and about her father but she's still distraught.
She tells me she asks for me repeatedly during her contact and he says no. She's asked to come home early he says no. He even snaps and shouts at her for talking about me. We have absolutely no communication whatsoever other than on a court ordered parenting app.
We're due to go back to court by the end of the year for a final hearing and he wants a progression to shared care (!!!)
I'm just wondering, as she grows up.. if this continues, what can I expect??
I think the issue is, DD has been conditioned to supervised contact for such a long time. It will of course take time, but she's never wanted to go. DD enjoys doing activities with him such as swimming etc but I know for a fact she will absolutely struggle staying over at his and he won't help, he will berate her for wanting me. I don't know how else I can help her :( I try to validate her feelings, tell her ill be waiting for her, tell her her dad will have a fun activity plan but my poor baby is just so distraught.
Any tips and ideas on how to help would be appreciated as I imagine I will have 7 long years of this. DD enjoys time with her father but isn't especially close to him. She's spent every day of her life with me.