I’m going through a rough time at the moment with the x husband. We have been separated for 9 months. We have 2 children together.
i bought them both up single handed while he decided to work all hours when we were together. He dipped in and out of their lives as and when he liked. He slept with prostitutes throughout our marriage with me finding signs and then finally getting evidence many years later. He is a narcissist and likes control. He’s left the family home and agreed to pay the mortgage and have the girls once or twice a week. He also pays for my car lease that he signed me up for but put under my name.
The girls ignore his calls and to be fair he asks the same mundane questions every time, what have they been up to and if they’ve had a bath and what’s been for dinner. Anyway he decided to unblock me tonight and say he wouldn’t see them as they hadn’t replied to him for weeks and he wouldn’t see them for 3 weeks. He also said he was going to stop my car payments as he just realised he had been paying for our water bill and TV licence since he moved out. Luckily I’d saved the message telling him the contact numbers he needed to contact back in August when he left that he just ignored and continued to pay.
Anyway I’m feeling so tied. I can’t afford to live here without him paying the mortgage and can’t afford a car without him paying the lease. He uses it against me. I hate asking the girls to speak to him when they don’t want to. And if hate sending them when they would rather not go as he just moans at them and they just play on their phones. Of course he does take them out and it is important they have a good relationship with him I suppose but I know what he’s like, he’s manipulative and controlling and I really wish I hadn’t met him! I’ve been so happy since he went. It’s like a weight has been lifted. He used to argue with me for no reason and make it all seem my fault. He was explosive and loud. He used to get a cold and stay in bed expecting me to take him food and drink for the duration! He never suggested we did anything, I planned everything.. paid for all the girls clothes, needs, holidays… honestly the list could go on and on.
So how do I escape this awful man? I can’t afford a solicitor or to pay for the mortgage / car. Any help appreciated x