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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reaching out to an old friend

3 replies

lavenderboux · 06/04/2024 17:01

Hi all (long time lurker, first time posting!) and just need a space to get this out. About 15 years ago, my (supposed) best friend gradually distanced themselves from me to the point of zero contact. I did reach out a couple of times to ask if they were okay (they were always very open about how they tended to withdraw when things got a bit overwhelming). I never received any responses to these messages.
Despite this, I have always thought about them (eg. the usual birthdays/Christmas time, life events that I wish I had them around in my life to share the news with). Last month I dropped them a message saying hi, asking how life is going and wishing them well. Prior to this I had been weighing up how I would feel if I didn't get a response to any messages sent Vs. forever wondering the "what if" if I was to never reach out and try.

Anyway - they didn't respond.

I don't really know what I'm seeking from this post other than a space to get this out. Whilst I did the grieving of the friendship that was all those years ago, I guess this just feels a bit final.
I feel grateful for the fond memories of the friendship that we had, and clearly it was just for "a season". X

OP posts:
KeinLiebeslied54321 · 06/04/2024 17:03

Leave them be.
Much as it's been hurtful for you they have made it clear that they no longer wish to remain friends.

B1rd · 07/04/2024 00:03

Please dont reach out. The time has gone. Friends come and go and this one has gone.
Embrace new friends.

Mermaidsarereal · 07/04/2024 15:53

It's so frustrating to me when people do this, if I've done something wrong or upset someone in any way I'd rather them tell me than distance themselves away from me completely, it's happened to me twice in the last 5 years! You've made the effort to reach out and they haven't responded, leave it be now and focus on the friends who are present 😊

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