Controlling behaviour

[BirthdayRainbow]

I have been told I have been controlled by my STBEH and while I can accept I might have been, though not in the usual way one reads about on here, my question is. What do I do about it ?

Before we split I said to him a couple of times that he wasn't in charge of me and he didn't get to control me. But as I said it I didn't realise I meant it.* He said I know I'm not in charge and I don't.

*I know that sounds strange but I'm having therapy and processing a lot of stuff I've missed or pushed aside as I thought everything was wrong with me.

I cannot give examples and there is zero point talking to him about it as he won't talk to me but I don't want it to become a damaging thing for me. That's my question. How do I not let it?

TIA.

In what ways do you feel he controls you?

As I said, I can't get into it and tbh I can't face thinking about it. I understand that might be frustrating but I'm asking for help with letting it go and not let it cause me any more upset.

I am divorcing him. He's getting his karma. I'm trying to look after myself from more trauma.

Well personally I'd not dwell on it though and juat concentrate on the practicalities of the divorce. However, if you're planning on dating again ypy should be looking at what you can do to make your next relationship free of controlling behaviour.

I'm not planning on dating again and tbh I know the problem is with him not me. I'm not the person I was before and I know it won't happen again. He took advantage.

I'm finding the divorce very difficult as he is being a complete disgusting person and at times I feel strong but other times I want to cry. So it's hard.

There is an element of victim blaming there saying I need to look at what I can do to make my next relationship free of controlling behaviour. Whether you meant it or not that is how it comes across.