Hello 👋 lovely MN,
I’ve come on here for a better perspective . I’m hurt …has anyone encountered this type of person?
Firstly for context I’m passive and it takes a lot to stand my ground. Met friend 4 years ago, thought she was great but she sent me weird messages (red flag?) which I stupidly ignored. Made me feel uncomfortable out of the blue saying she adored me, couldn’t be without me, I was the best person she’s ever met. What I realise now (because I’m stupid) is this friend is extreme you either are amazing or shit on her shoe.
At work she was extremely argumentative with our boss and so she left for a new job (she’s now on her 4th job in 4 years) and seems to have issues with authority and she openly says she is better than her colleagues. She’s been asked to be less abrasive at work. She is still obsessed with hating my boss after 4 years and working for her for a few months.
I saw a pattern of her falling out with friends, friendship groups, family and there seemed always be drama but I always backed her because I’d never been on the receiving end. I also never wanted to feel negatively towards my friend (but there were niggling doubts) but there always seemed to be extreme drama in her relationships.
But it is my fault 🤦♀️ because I recently was on the receiving end of her wrath. It started slowly. She sent me hurtful private messages but acted completely fine in our group chat. I felt more and more isolated, when we would meet up she would gush over our friends but be rude, dismissive to me and correct me and chip away at me.
This all came to a head when she sent a vile message to me and then ignored me for weeks.
i called her out in a very balanced kind message (my friend helped me write it) saying I was hurt, had I upset her.
her response was cold and uninterested. She said she couldn’t handle my news of getting married and didn’t know how to behave 😆 which I feel was an excuse, it would have been something else, she was looking for an issues.
i asked if she respected me or was meant to be hurtful and she just said I don’t know how to handle you’re getting married!
She proceeded to create a new WhatsApp group just for her and my friends telling them I had misunderstood and it was my fault for the rift 🙄and that she LOVED those girls so much which seemed very disingenuous and a tactic to get them on side.
My friends are amazing and shot her down Saying they were not having a separate WhatsApp group to talk about me. They also saw her messages to me and were furious and now want to avoid her.
She holds grudges and never lets things go. She is just so angry about everything.
she is very rigid in her beliefs and if you don’t meet her standards she is very open at telling you off.
very judgemental and is the authority on everything.
Chooses to be very gushing or very cold
has no problem in telling you you’re wrong, and how you need to behave.
Very loud, domineering and controlling of people and the group.
Enjoys voicing her opinion no matter how hurtful it is, almost likes provoking a fight and seeing you are hurt.
nothing is in the middle …only ever black or white.
I know it’s my fault for being friends with her and letting stuff slide.
MN if you go this far thank you! So
has anyone experienced this kind of person before? How did it end up? Did they vanish or come back with vengeance?
thank you x