Name calling

[Mumof5nanaof1]

I’m a married mum of 5 and the 2 youngest are with my now husband. The reason for this post is I feel I’m at tipping point and don’t know how or if I can get past things my husband has said and done. My husband proposed when I was pregnant with the youngest and we married 8months later. 3 months into the marriage my husband called me a fat mess and the word stuck and hurt that much I went abroad and had surgery to make me slimmer. Don’t get me wrong I am happy with how I now look but them words hurt and have stuck in my head, I have agreed to go to couples counselling but still don’t know whether this hurt will go.

That’s awful. Did he ever apologise and how did he react to the surgery?

So, your husband said you were fat, then despite having 5 children you went abroad to have surgery?
How did you pay for that?!
Come on, there's no true emotion to your post. Seems to be the theme tonight.

Sorry just seen your reply.. no true emotion?? Please explain
yes I went abroad to have surgery and this was paid for through savings not that it matters.

Sorry just seen the reply.

he’s happy with the surgery and does now apologise but in the same breath says you wouldn’t look this good if I didn’t say them words and them words will always stick with me and I’ll never forget.
I now also get the jealousy and accusations because of how I look yet don’t do a think to warrant them x

Your husband is now jealous and accusing you of things, you mean? Sounds horrible.

I do get it. My ex wife said to me something like “who would want that on top of them” and told me I needed to lose weight. She was right even if some of the words she used were not the nicest. That comment though did hit a nerve and led to me losing 3 stone and with hindsight was very happy. Would it have happened without it, quite possibly but it was the trigger at the time.

but then i am pretty tough and can take that more than some. If everything else is good between you then he needs to realise the impact this had and you will have to try to put it by

So I was a size 12-14 and had a section with the last 2 that led to an over hang. I personally didn’t feel big I was just conscious of the over hang. The words “fat mess” have stung and are always there although I’m happy.
I know he is controlling and abusive but then there is great times. I guess I just need to vent as I feel lost atm as there is always something else