STBXH entering family home when he has moved out

[Oldhag5]

So finally STBXH is finally moving out next week. He says he will keep a set of keys as he is still the owner of the house and he will inform me when he needs access. He will still pick up the kids two days a week to take them to school but I really don’t want him coming in my space after he has moved out (there has been a lot of domestic abuse and there is not amicability). Does anyone have any experience of this? Is he allowed in the house? What happens if he informs me he wants to access the house on those mornings?

My friend is in this situation, unfortunately there is not a lot you can do to stop him if he owns the house, unless you have a restraining order against him I think. It sucks

Thanks. So he goes in her house when he collects the kids?

I am not sure about the legalities in your country but in mine, if you are the main occupant of the house and he is not living there, then no, he doesn't have a right to come and go as he pleases just because he has an ownership stake in the property.

You have the right to privacy and quiet enjoyment of your own home. A landlord would have to give 24 hours notice of intention to enter the house, along with a clear reason, so it seems fair that he has to do the same if he is not living there.

I would look into the legal situation here as I had exactly the same situation and don't like my ex setting foot over my threshold.

I’m in England…

From a legal standpoint OP you can't change the locks while he still part owns the house, but I have seen it suggested that you can add extra locks which he wouldn't be entitled to keys for. Internal bolts/chains would also work for while you're at home, just to stop him walking in unannounced.

Obviously you would also have to think about his potential reaction to those measures though, particularly if there's dv involved. Might be worth having a chat with Women's Aid or Rights of Women about whether an Occupation order would be appropriate in your situation before you do anything else, they will know what your rights are and how to navigate things to keep you safe.

Unless you have a legal tenancy signed,dated etc then it's his house but tbh I would be getting my own place at some point as it will become a bad thing eventually for most

I changed the locks when my ex husband moved out- my lawyer was aware I was doing it and didn't tell me not to!

You can get an occupation order, speak to Rights of Women.

Of course if you lost your keys and had to replace the locks...

Sell the house and buy a place of your own.

As he says, it's his house.
Divorce and get it sold ASAP.

In England you can not stop him coming into the house while you are jointly owning it. He does not even need to inform you, technically.
It's already a concession on his side that he is moving out - many H's refuse until they to until there is a financial order, etc.

So - just hold on and try to work around it. And proceed with the financial order ASAP

After my Ex told me that he could come and go whenever he pleased and there was nothing I could do, subsequent Police involvement etc, I very unfortunately managed to misplace my keys so had to change the locks.

He brought it up in Court, but the judge wouldn't have a bar of it, told him in no uncertain terms that as he was no longer living there, he didn't need keys. Ex then wittered on about ensuring access for the Estate Agent which I dealt with by giving the EA a key and making sure they understood he was not to be given access.

Prior to this, I would leave my key in the lock and use the back door. I also got a video doorbell so I could see if he was outside.

Leave a key in the lock, double lock from inside (if yale), security chain on, if a wooden door, install manual slide across locks top and bottom of door

I can't find the video but I follow a divorce lawyer on tiktok called legalqueen and this came up recently. She said that after a few months of them living elsewhere and all their belongings have been removed you can stop them having keys. They can still arrange access with you as they are still legally responsible but you are entitled to live there undisturbed. Obviously check with your own solicitor about this but a divorce could drag on for years, you need to protect yourself from the fear of him being in the house whenever he likes. I would get a Ring doorbell or something similar.