Benefits/experience of long distance relationships

[ilovemybedcushions]

Hi
I'm a frequent poster but have NC as other posts of mine are outing...

I have recently been speaking to a guy, I know of him through friends, which I guess makes me feel more comfortable as he's close friends with my best friend and her husband and they have long said what a lovely great guy he is etc... it just so happens that at around the same time a few years ago our marriages both broke down.

We haven't yet met but are due to next weekend, have been chatting on the phone most days and I'm looking forward to meet him after a run of pretty rubbish experiences with men through OLD and one rubbish situationship with someone I met through my line of work.

I'm not wanting to get too ahead of myself but I am wondering, if it does go well, whether there's scope for this to work.

I have my children through their week and their Dad sees them EOW and one weekend night on the other week, I work a busy job so most evenings during the week I'm pretty tired and not always much company!

He also works a busy job and has his children (who are older than mine) 50% of the time.

In my mind, this could almost be an ideal scenario as I want someone who I can see when I am childfree, perhaps the occasional week night here and there but more at weekends or if I have holiday from work. Someone to enjoy the fun stuff with like festivals, hiking, mini breaks... as opposed to where I was with my situationship where it felt like a mini relationship where he'd come round when my DC were in bed and we didn't actually do much else together... I run my home and life well and do enjoy my own company.

This guy lives 2 hours away... is willing to travel to me to meet up and doesn't seem phased by it. Just wondering if anyone has experience of LD relationships and whether they can work in practice or whether it ends in tears??

My now DH and I were long distance the first two years (but neither of us had kids). It always felt special to see each other, although obviously it meant spending longer periods of time together early on - can't just meet for a coffee! Been together 12 years.

@Rosesanddaisies1 aaaah I love this! Congratulations

That is how DP and I started. I was in Sussex and he was in Dorset... a 2.5 hour drive. We would see each other every few weekends.

After a couple of years he moved a bit closer but he's still 1.5 hours away.

It suits us very well. We've been together 4 years now with no intention of moving in. I like my space and can't see myself living with a man again.

He's met my family, holidayed with my teenagers, and attended my mum's funeral. We have the benefit of being in a loving relationship without getting bored or complacent. I still get excited when he's on his way here.

Ah that's brilliant @PinotPony ! After a long marriage where I felt like I was someone's Mum and wife in one... I have no burning desire to do it again right away! My focus and attention is on my children when they're in my care and I guess I'm just looking for someone who I can enjoy my spare time with... love that it worked out for you! X

My man and I were 4.5 hours apart. He used to drive to my house once or twice a month. I occasionally drove to him but far less often due to work so we typically only saw each other for 1 or 2 nights a month. We did this for around 3 years. Then we had a deep discussion of ‘we either need to really do this or walk away’
he made the move to me as he could work anywhere and my job was a fixed location. We stayed in my small rented place for 2 years together. Then 6 years ago we bought the house we are currently in. We are approaching 12 years together

I met my boyfriend 2.5 years ago. He lives 3 hours away. I have full-time care of an SEN son. I never intended to start a relationship as I did not think it would be possible but here we still are.

We see each other maybe 4-6 nights a month. It suits us both for different reasons. I can focus on my son whose life is 98% unchanged. He ended a 23 year marriage a couple of years before we met and is very busy with his social life and other commitments. We so look forward to seeing each other and have vague plans for him to move to me in a few years when my son had grown up.

We are increasingly secure in what we have and trust each other completely, I never worry what he is up to when we are not together.

not always easy though and we have had a couple of separations when it seemed too difficult to manage for a while.

good luck!