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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fed up of husband

6 replies

Novembermummy88 · 05/04/2024 08:11

Im starting to feel a bit lost and need some advice. We have been married 7 years with two young children. I don’t know if I’m truly loosing interest in my husband or I’m just exhausted (I work full time, as does my husband, and we have very little help with childcare, rarely get time to ours elves, kids wake up early etc).

I feel like it’s got to the point I can barely be bothered to have a conversation with my husband. He doesn’t go out much, whereas I am very sociable and see my friends a lot - he only goes out if I plan something with one of my friends and their husbands. I feel like he talks about money a lot when we go out which I find quite embarrassing - he has nothing current or interesting to talk about where he doesn’t do much. He leaves his stuff out on the floor - I constantly pick up after him. I have to do alll the extra things like clean the car / ask him to do it a bunch of times before he does it. I go to the gym in the evening but I come home and often he’s asleep on the sofa snoring which I just find off putting and boring. He doesn’t get on with his parents well - they often text me as he hasn’t answered the phone to them or text back. He’s generally a good dad but I’m noticing he doesn’t do as much with the kids as my friends husbands do - he doesn’t take them to the park or swimming etc unless I arrange it and basically organise us all.

I just feel very I attracted to him and at points a bit embarrassed about his political opinions and his lack of energy.

Sorry I am ranting but I really don’t know where to turn or if this is just something I expect to feel in the mundane of married life with young kids.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 05/04/2024 08:32

Has he always been like this, or has he changed?

Novembermummy88 · 05/04/2024 08:37

he used to go the gym and go out a lot more but as he has got older all of that has stopped. There is also no intimacy at all from him. I feel like he has turned into a bit of a cliche really - barely acknowledges me and can’t be bothered to go out, look after himself etc. He has a good job and provides I am reliant on him financially he pays for our lifestyle.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 05/04/2024 08:38

I’d suggest a chat, then marriage counselling, but if you don’t want to save it then don’t prolong the agony.

DillyHilly · 05/04/2024 08:41

Maybe he feels the same as you , but doesn't know how to get things back on track so has gone into a kind of shell.I
Have you tried talking about it with him and how your feeling about being stuck in a rut ?

MissBuzzard · 05/04/2024 08:43

Hmmm. I can see the other side of this could be that he is mentally exhausted working a stressful job to provide for you all.

You need to talk to him.

Youknownothingsnow · 05/04/2024 12:00

You can work through this but there has to be action on both sides. It’s very common to get stuck in a rut.

Go back to basics. Suggest spending time with each other and going on dates or just having time together in where you get a takeaway etc. There could be depression or other reasons why he’s changed or is more closed off.

Were you aware of his political opinions before you married?

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