Protecting assets in new later life relationship?

[DoormatBob]

This is almost the opposite of a lot of posts on here. To be clear I am the male, I know that does change some people's advice!

Late 40s, divorced last year, I bought ex-DW out of house, she bought another house, all amicable, share care of DC etc...

Wasn't looking for a new relationship but occured unplanned in Jan and going really well. New DP in similar circumstances, but adult children and lives in a rented house.

No talk of moving in together, certainly far too soon but it did make me think about the future.

Neither of us interested in marriage again but I am conscious that my priority is DC and don't want to risk having to share assets again. The obvious answer, if it progresses is that I keep paying all bills and DP saves money not being spent on rent for the future, and looking long term if still together in 10 years time when my DC are adults then look at pooling together.

Interested in thoughts how others managed this. It's all a long way off but do want to be open about this kind of thing.

If you are unmarried, there won't be any shared assets unless you choose to buy together, in which case get things documented by a solicitor.

If you don't want to buy together, just be upfront about that.

There would need to be a discussion of course about expectations.

Look into a cohabitation agreement before moving in together if she is moving into your home.

The ‘cleanest’ way would be to move into another property together bringing the same level of finances to the table.

If you don’t want to get married or as pp said to buy together just be upfront about it. She can then make her own decisions based on that.
Absolutely ring fence your assets for your DC and don’t be swayed by your emotions.

Just go on as you are. Stay in your own house, she can stay in hers. Visit and stop over as you both want but you'll still have a degree of singleness, handy when the adult children visit.

You think they should NEVER live together, just because he has kids?

I would start having shared discussions with your partner as soon as you feel is appropriate so you understand each other's attitude to money and finances. This can then lead into a deeper discussion about your aspirations to ensure your DC eventually benefit from your assets, of which your house will be the largest of the assets.

if your relationship moves into the very long term, don't forget that if you were to die before them, you need to consider what you'd like to have happen, given that they don't own a property but you do. If your partner moves into your house, what do you envisage would happen on your demise? Would you want your partner to be homeless (hopefully not), if your house is bequeathed to your DC.

as you're asking now, for a future time, the best thing will be to have a complete review of your wills together at some stage in the future, with a solicitor, so you can consider all aspects jointly.

Neither are interested in marriage so why complicate things. They can get together as often as they want yet still have their own space when they feel like it.

Lots of people choose to live together but not to get married. OP said it’s too early for them, but it would be silly to rule out them ever wanting the companionship of living under one roof!

Dp and I just moved in together after 3 years. We bought a house and are tenants in common owning different percentages of the house. I own the bigger percentage. We needed a solicitor to draw up a Transfer of Equity between us. Each of us has a life interest in the rest of the house ie we can stay here until we die or remarry. This is a big decision as our children's inheritance (if any) is tied up in the house. We've made new wills.

From.a bills point of view, we added up the joint monthly house and food bills, and split that amount between us based on salaries (in this case I pay less than dp as I earn less). We have a joint account where we pay the agreed amount into it and pay the bills as we go.

I wouldn't rush to move in together, it feels like a very major upheaval. But overall i am happy we've done it.