Evil Sister

[CantBelieveNaive]

Omg I am absolutely gutted and can't believe how naive I have been over 40 years!!

Obvs have known my sister for all this time and she is really good fun. Witty, same sense of humour, clever, we "get" each other and she tells me all the right things.

However I've just realised that she has lied about me, turned friends against me and basically thrown me under the bus so many times eg when we were talking to a friend and she was talking about something really uncomfortable that I'd shared with her, I kicked her under the table and she said "why are you kicking me under the table?" Making it so much more obvious and uncomfortable.

I am considering going no contact but think in my absence it will give her more opportunity to tell more lies about me and poison peoples minds before I get a chance to give my side.

I am so gutted as my rose tinted glasses have gone and I have lost someone who I thought was a friend and confidante.

Can't believe someone could be such a liar and be super nice to my face, telling me what I wanted to hear.

She has tried to ruin my18th, 21st, uni, friends relationship, birthdays etc etc thinking back...?

Latest is she is going around saying I basically stole my husband off her as she met him first. I didn't, he was a friend of the guy she was shagging at the time.

WWYD? 😫

this is all very very odd

Ah, the Easter holidays. No school today.

Dr Ramani on YouTube is so informative. I had the same realisation with my own highly abusive and unpleasant brother. These videos really helped me understand what had been happening for so long. She is an expert in narcissism which is what this sounds like.

Going around badmouthing you is part of the dynamic. It's a typical narcissistic trait. The good thing is that most people who know you eventually see the truth or won't believe anything this person says. Sometimes they will and you can't do much about it. Sometimes the more you say, the more you look like the problem. I would reduce contact dramatically. Or go no contact if you can. There's a technique called grey rocking they might help.

I know but honestly it is true xx

Yes but I really need support. I feel like I am grieving the person I thought was on my side xx

What is with all these weird replies

Thank you I will take a look now. I was thinking that she might have a split personality as it's really like two different people. One is lovely, empathetic, thoughtful and caring the other one is a nasty, lying, stirring beatch. :(

Narcissists can be like this. Really lovely and nice when they want something. She sounds very poisonous whatever the reason is. I think you must distance yourself

She's lovely and caring so you drop your guard and give her information she the uses as ammunition.

The way to deal we've these people is to cut off their source, don't feed information, don't engage, don't confront if your concerned she'll then start an active campaign against you.

Effectively your going to ghost her slowly over time.

Exactly this! Argh time and time again! 🙈

I have a sister very similar.

She isn’t a narcissist, just not very bright.

Just because you’re related you don’t have to be friends.

My sister is the very same, she lies constantly to make herself look good and uses all my fun stories as her own, which is so bizarre. It’s like she actually believes her lies. Also has spread horrible lies about me too.
I’ve been no contact for two years now and I’ve never been happier.
i did go through the ‚grieving‘ process too, but it gets easier.
Good luck!

Yep, you just need to slowly back away from the crazy OP, no point in trying to confront her, it will just make the situation worse. It's a shock when you realise they're not who you thought they were, it was my mother in my case and it's been very hard to come to terms with but once you see it you can't unsee it.

You're going to feel unsettled for a while, you will see past interactions with this person in a new light and things which made no sense at the time will become clear. You will need to adjust your boundaries and behaviour around this person and others connected to them in light of the new information you now have too, do read up on 'grey rock' as *Pantaloons99 *suggested, it's a useful technique with people like your sister. You might also find the 'Stately Homes' threads useful, this is the current one www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5135984-august-2024-but-we-took-you-to-stately-homes