I've named changed for this one!
TL:DR DH ex won't let us see his daughter and its having a huge impact on our family.
I've been with my DH for 5 years and he is a loving supportive husband. I met him after an abusive relationship, I have 3 children with my ex and he has one child with his abusive ex. When we met I was very apprehensive of starting a new relationship and putting my kids through another tough situation.
So his ex (I'll call her sue) has always been controlling, always starting arguments over the littlest thing, constantly threatening to disappear with their daughter etc. DH tried court once but got the whole she's her mum line so we've just been muddling through. Unfortunately DD (I've never thought of her as a stepdaughter just one of my kids) has some quite serious MH problems at a young age due to her mums behaviour (hitting and biting herself, screaming to the point of nearly passing out, anxiety about going to her mums etc). We've spoken about retrying court to protect DD but DH is apprehensive.
Anyway last week Sue refused to hand DD over on our normal day (we have her 3 days a week). She's now not answering calls/texts, it appears she's blocked DHs number. She's not at her house any of the times we've been round, her partner has a house but we've never been given the address. Sue has some very serious MH issues and violent tendencies she put DH in the hospital a couple of times when they were together, her partner also has convictions for violence against other people.
DH is obviously beside himself and so am I. Our other children are also in bits that their sister hasn't been over on her usual days although we've tried to sheild them from what's actually happened.
DH has rung police/social services/child and adult safeguarding and just keeps getting the same answer 'you need to go back to court'.
Hes hired a solicitor and began the process again but it's taking time.
Here's where I'm going to sound like a bitch, I'm current pregnant (our 1st and only child together). When I was with my ex we didn't have money so I Survived of second hand items and basically. I was so excited to be able to afford some nicer things etc this time round. I'd also been saving for a holiday as none of the kids have been abroad and are begging to go on a plane. We'll all that money has gone on solicitors now. I haven't got a single thing ready for the baby. Our holiday fund is gone, we've not been able to afford to go out and do anything this Easter. We are back to being absolutely broke. I promised myself kids wouldn't suffer again and I feel like they are. Not only missing out on stuff but the atmosphere at home is awful,.DH is obviously very stressed. He's not coping and has basically shut down, our house is a complete mess because all his energy is going into sorting court and I'm struggling to keep on top of everything by myself, DS is having a birthday sleepover on Saturday amd I'm embarrassed to let people into our house at the moment.
I feel awful because things are do tough for DH and I'm missing DD like crazy but I'm really struggling seeing it having an effect on my kids.