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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotional Triggers

4 replies

ArmyCubby47 · 04/04/2024 01:35

First off, I cheated on my partner. She gave me another chance but she would continuously make comments and would use her triggers to make me feel worthless. She would also say that I'm talking to people when I wasn't. She purposefully would arrange pillows on the bed to say I was video chatting with someone when I wasn't. Later due to my selfishness I did talk to other women. She found out and the trauma for her starts over. Now that I have completely gotten rid of everyone I was talking to and the apps I was talking with. I don't even talk to my friends anymore. She purposely finds little things to bring up her triggers. Example: I picked her up from her parents house and on the seat was a wet spot as she says. She even goes as far to say that the seat was moved different from when I dropped her off that morning. Now I go to the office once a week and she stays at her parents until I come and pick her up later. That day I went to go pick up my lunch from a restaurant, get gas, and go back to my office to work and eat. I never touched the seat or put anything wet on the seat. I pick her up and she immediately starts telling me how she wonders if I met the other woman and we had sex in my car. Then she continuously says I'm sweeping things under the rug and not dealing with them. She acts like nothing is wrong around her family but when we are home it's a blame fest from her. I got upset and decided not to talk to her at all this morning. Then she starts in on me. I don't know what to do to deal with this. At this point, I just want out of the relationship and move on with my life. Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
HoHoHoliday · 04/04/2024 01:50

End the relationship.
You've cheated on her at least once (more than once because I'd consider the app chatting up to be cheating), so you're not committed to her.
She will never trust you, partly because you've cheated and partly because she sounds like she has her own issues.
She can't live in fear of you cheating again, you can't live in isolation from everyone else in your life.
This relationship isn't good for either of you, just end it before you both go mad.

Mmhmmn · 04/04/2024 01:59

End it. It sounds doomed. Relationships are not supposed to be mentally exhausting. In future ending things before getting it on with other people will cause a lot less hurt.

AnotherVice · 04/04/2024 02:02

Any advice? Don't cheat on her and expect her to be cool with it?

Watchkeys · 04/04/2024 04:52

At this point, I just want out of the relationship and move on with my life. Does anyone have any advice

Yes. End the relationship and move on with your life.

Why wouldn't you, given that that is what you want?

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