Partner walking ahead

[Googoodoll87]

It’s actually ex partner.

Split up nearly 3 months ago but I keep thinking about how he used to always walk ahead of me (among a million others things I keep thinking of)

Does anyone else’s partner do this? I’m starting to think he must have been embarrassed to be seen with me.

I mentioned it to him a few times but he never stopped doing it.

I think it can be when someone wants to feel more important - the little woman walking in their trail, sometimes having to jog to keep up. Combined with general selfishness and lack of consideration for others.

Occasionally it could be that they are embarrased to be with their OH but I think that's less likely. Although conversely, if they were PROUD to be with their OH they wouldn't rush ahead.

Sometimes it may be just thoughtlessness - they have a naturally faster walk and just don't think / get used to people walking in their wake and don't really notice.

My X used to do this, it drove me crackers. Add to the the fact he was too cheap to buy a 10p bag out shopping and I used to scurry behind him laden down with stuff. Humiliating.
Him all over really.

Yes - my XH used to do this constantly. He didn't always walk ahead, though; sometimes he would dawdle behind. Always my fault, of course, for walking too fast or too slow. On one occasion, he even did it on our wedding anniversary and made me feel like a worthless piece of shit, too embarrassing to be seen with.

He was a selfish, passive-aggressive tw@t, and now I walk alone, at my own pace, and feel much happier.

My ex did this…he was a twat on every level

My DH does this.

I think it’s basically a ‘My way is correct and everyone else is doing stuff wrong’ attitude :(

I think it’s basically a ‘My way is correct and everyone else is doing stuff wrong’ attitude :(

@Lanore that's it, exactly. My XH thought he was a Master of the Universe.

Strangely, nobody else seems to have a problem walking alongside me.

My exH did this. I thought about it a lot. I decided it was for a number of reasons. He wanted to be seen as a leader and go-getter type (he wasn’t) and I think it made him feel important to have his wife, and ideally his children too, trailing after him. He thought that it would inspire the rest of us to walk quicker to keep up. How wrong he was.

When asked, he said he always walked quickly (and he did, comically so) but I’m 100 % sure there was more to it than that.

There was a huge thread about this previously, the upshot was that it’s disrespectful, a power trip etc.

Im a walker ahead, not for those reasons but because he’s so fucking slow, even when I slow down. I’m forever talking to him and turning around to see where he is and he’s about ten steps behind. I think it started when he used to smoke and would hang back to have a cigarette. Now he just dawdles everywhere and enjoys the peace and quiet 🤣 I try and slow down but it’s like walking on the spot.

My husband does this I think it's more that his legs are a lot longer than mine and is heaps taller than me rather than some chauvinist conspiracy

My mum does this, it annoys me so much. Once I quickly turned off the street and lost her deliberately, she was furious.

Does he keep getting further and further away then?

My husband has been doing this for decades, and I don't even notice any more. It's quite funny, I suppose, but not something I have ever been bothered about.

I really dislike this. I have to use a wheelchair and my partner does it but I don't think maliciously. Usually we have to take the dog everywhere with us as he's destructive when left alone and too stubborn to train out of it. He won't go in a crate. If I can't work from home in the future I don't know what to do with him but trying not to think about it. Anyway- because we go everywhere with the dog and don't drive, my partner walks ahead of me with the lead because I can stop before I run over the dog... but when they walk to the side or behind me the dog runs under my wheels and I can't see him in time. Now my children are old enough to be left home alone with the dog sometimes, partner still walks in front of me. He's stubborn too and says it's because it's easier with overgrown trees etc. It makes me feel like crap like he doesn't want to be seen with me.

My ex did this along with lots of other stuff. He didn't use to wait for me either. He'd just set off without me. It was upsetting as it made me feel insignificant. I don't know if he did it deliberately or unconsciously.

I read it can be a sign of narcissism. I'm not sure if my ex was a narcissist but he certainly was an abuser.

A couple on my street do this every day walking the dogs and getting the paper

it always winds me up now I know why

My DH does this. It massively pisses me off.
It really bothers me when the kids are somewhere between me and him and he just crosses a road without waiting to check they're there.
He took DS away recently and I told DS to either make sure he was 100% with dad or check before crossing the road himself.
DH dives through gaps me and the kids can't get through then moans that we're behind.
It's infuriating.

One day it could be the straw that broke the camels back....but then lots of issues could be that straw too.

Both my DH and DF did this.

They are/were both lovely men, definitely didn't see themselves as more important - they just have longer legs.

The only solution I have found is holding their hand at all times to slow them down.

Yes, it definitely made me feel neglected and forgotten about, like he didn’t care about me and he didn’t want to be seen with me.

I would like to think it wasn’t intentional but there were other things too and anytime I brought anything up, either he would get angry and accuse me of starting an argument or he claimed he didn’t know he was doing it.

Quite annoying really.

Oh yes, my exh used to do this too. I'd forgotten about it.
The man is just awful.