Tell me how it is

[springhassprung20244]

I think I need some harsh words and I know Mumsnet is the place for this.

My ex left me (5 months ago) after a 6 year relationship. He was and still is amazing with my DC (not my child's father). We've had sex a few times since the breakup and the most recent was last week. He still helps me with my child (takes him to school when I have to work early ect). Conversations other than that are mainly sexual (instigated by him) it's also on his terms.

During the 5 year relationship we had no problems other than towards the end I voiced my feelings (probably the wrong way) about the lack of commitment and no plans for the future. He lives with his parents-he is 41 and I live with my ds in a tiny1 bedroom flat. He has a well paid job.

The trouble is I know that I am holding onto the slight chance he might want to work things out but I also know that deep down I did nothing to deserve the way he walked away after 5 years. I just wanted a future.

What I'm asking is should I just cut contact all together or carry on for the sake of my ds (he loves him) and also for the extra help when I need it.

I feel so hurt by this man but then question myself and also blame myself for the breakup.

This probably makes no sense at all but I just needed to write it all down and let it out.

you were not compatible in a relationship because you wanted different things. You might be compatible as friends. Be prepared for his next partner to want him to cut all contact

I should probably add that he did not want marriage, children or to buy a house together.he didn't tell me this at the start of the relationship.

So he’s sitting pretty isn’t he?

No living expenses so lots of disposable income whilst having his mummy look after him and on top of that free sex and attention from you whenever he wants it.

He’s a using man-child OP. 41 and still at home - ICK!

God these fucking men! 😡

You left him because he didn't want commitment. He's now getting exactly what he wants isn't he?

Stop the sex. You can still let him be a part of your child's life if he wants to.

If I'm honest I think the sex for me is a way of holding on.

I get that, but the problem is that you will never get over him if you continue to see him/sleep with him. You won’t be open to meeting someone else whilst you’re holding onto the hope of a relationship with him.

He essentially just using you - he likes you well enough to have sex and help you out with your child now and then but that’s it.

Eventually he’ll probably meet someone else and then you’ll be heartbroken.

Why would he change his situation when he’s having his cake and eating it?

This old saying comes to mind:”why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”?!

Ah, Im so sorry. It really seems like he is using you for sex and maybe some home cooked meals?

He gets all the benefits of a relationship, without any commitment whatsoever. He is a friend to your child, but without having to do.any actual parenting.

He should be ashamed of himself. He has got it even more cushdy now, friends with benefits. Just using you even more so.

If he was actually as nice as you think he is, he would be taking care of you both and getting you out of that flat.

Ditch the man child.