I’ve been LC with my mum for 8 years now. This was caused by a specific incident at that time which for me was the final straw. We’ve never got on and from an early age she made it very clear to me that she didn’t want me, if she had to have a child she would have wanted a boy. I can remember her rages, telling me how awful and worthless I am, hitting me and then laughing at me, spoiling my sister and then making sure I knew that I wasn’t getting the same. There’s more but that’s the gist of it. She recruited other family members into thinking that I was a terrible child and this has been my role in the family ever since. I am the bad one. Luckily for me I now have a lovely DH and 2DC, and having gained some space from her I can see how nasty she can be and have a much healthier view of myself as a result. I have no regrets over going LC.
My problem is that I struggle to explain to people why we hardly speak. Occasionally it comes up in conversation and people are always shocked that I would choose to minimise contact my own mother. There was never one specific incident which on its own was enough to justify LC, just a realisation that her behaviour has always been deliberately hurtful and unkind. Has anyone else experienced this and how do you explain it to someone who has come
from a loving family, with the “but she’s your mum!” mindset?