Looking for advice or general point of view of others due to being very confused with my relationship.
Me (M 34) and my partner (F 30) have been having problems for about 6 months now due to myself having money issues, my partner was kind of supportive for the first month or so and then seemed to totally make a u-turn on how she orignally felt on the issue.
To sum up, We have been together 13 years now, When we first moved in together my partner was full time in a coffee shop and couldnt really afford to buy a house so I used my savings and borrowed money from a relative to buy us our first house. During the time at the house we were amazing, relationship was so good we were always going out and enjoying each others company etc.
We decided to then cash in on the booming house market and sell and buy a bigger nicer house, we done this but the house we ended up with ended up needing a new roof and render and ate all our savings up. Due to this i had to get loans to cover numerous things, this is where things started to get bad as this just got worse and worse and now im at the point where as soon as i get paid my wages are basically gone.
Fast forward to Jan this year and me and my partner had a hugh argument with regards to the house and our relationship. My partner has never been intimate in anyway and I am the one always trying to get things going in that area. This includes even basic things like hugs or even kissing goodbye.
After this argument my partner has said shes had enough of the relationship and its issues (Money issues and my anexity and depression due to mothers attempt to take her own life last year)
She said she needed time and wanted to have some time apart which i agreed with as it has been a very stressful year for us both, but she then refused to leave the house and wanted to wait for the house to sell before we discuss issues.
Three months have now passed and after a discussion 3/4 weeks ago we both decided we would try and work things out and discuss living options when a offer for the house comes in.
But now my partner acts like nothing is wrong and we get on really well but with this looming argument in regards with what to do with our relationship when the house sells, she is adament she doesn't want to own another property with myself... due to debt issues brought on by me paying for the first house and work being done on the house we live in now.
I'm looking for advice for how we can get around this fall out as from my point of view once the house sells we make a very large sum of money and can very easily buy a cheaper place and enjoy the extra money by having holidays etc..
But my partner seems to dead set on getting her own place, and that leaves me with the option of staying with my Mentally ill mother or trying to rent somewhere while we work out if we are staying together or not.
Sorry for the ramble but any advice or guidance in terms of how to approach working this out would be very much helpful, as sadly im leaning towards seperating due to how bad the last 3 months has been being treated like i've done something horribly wrong to the love of my life.