Break up

[Nmc34]

I'm really struggling with the break up with my kids father. We've been on the rocks for a long time, he moved out last year and we were workin7g on things he came back but it wasn't working for various reasons. Mainly his drinking hes an alcoholic and his mental health. His complete dis interest in anything and lack of help around the house and the fact he almost never done anything with the kids ( this was all before his mental health went down hill).
When his mental health went down I tried my best to be supportive and help him with his drinking but I really struggled with his drinking and was very resentful towards it. I could see it happening before it became a big problem and tried on so many occasions to warn him and stear him away from it. As a person who grew up with an alcoholic parent it's been difficult to watch. I'm not totally innocent in every ive been a narky b and struggled to control my emotions with him.
I just dont know how to go forward and deal with it all while maintaining as much normal as I can for my kids

are you living together now ?

depends if you have a good relationship and you happy i guess , your either mainly happy and day to day things are good , unhappy and most days are awful, or the third ..... stuck in limbo neither happy or unhappy , rather just going though the day to day routine of being a mum / work ect

regardless of his issues / addiction , IF he isnt seeking help and support or trying to become a better parent and partner and human being YOU cannot make him change. you can spend years trying and 'parenting' him but it really comes down to your cant help someone who wont help themselves. you can love the bones of them but if your not treated with respect and kindness what kind of life is that ?

personally my self esteem and confidence has been so effected by my DH mental health and dickhead behaviour i got to the point when i thought OMG is this it ? is this my life ? its shit ! my only joy was my kids,grandkids and work and that was it. Took along time to find the courage and to say no , im important and i matter ! the guilt ( oh the guilt !!!!! ) is eating me still but week by week it is getting better X your stronger than you think just takes courage XXXXX

Thank you for taking time to reply. He waljed out on Thursday my birthday after going off on one for nothing. Ive been with him since i was 17 never known another relationship. Our communication is awful thats on us both though Ive been unhappy for a long time but sad as it is I love him and wanted support him. Ive struggledto control my own emotions and resentment towards him. One of my blessings and curses is im overly honest sometimes dont sugar coat a thing and he struggled to take any form of critisism. He's started seeking help but only after I made all the initial calls when he hit crisis.
Hes not a bad guy just lost and not got a good mind set. He sees the bad in everything its mentally draining.
I suffer with anxiety and possibly have adhd so sometimes everything is so overwhelming especially when juggling kids work studying and every day to day task and I get no support.
The guilt is eating me up.I've tried so hard to keep it together I never wanted my kids to ever feel like I did as a child but somehow we've ended up here and I don't know what to do.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience having another point of view really helps