I have a bit of a dilemma in that I don't know whether to let my children stay with my ex when he moves into his new flat in a couple of weeks. We split up 3 years ago and has been a very unhelpful and unreliable coparent so far. He blames it all on his depression. He used to have them for one night a fortnight last year before he got kicked out of his old flat for not paying rent but there were often cancellations due to him not having enough food/petrol to come and get them etc. The last 3 months he has been living in temporary accommodation with his girlfriend and their 4 month old baby so has been visiting them once a month at a push. He says he wants to help me more and be more of a father to them but I don't know if I would be doing the right thing for the following reasons : 1) it's a one bedroom flat (he says they can sleep in sitting room
2) he has written off 3 cars in the last couple of years. The first 2 were minor scrapes but the most recent one was apparently a head on collision and he said he was lucky to be alive so would be worried about him driving them 40 minutes away.
3) he has a very toxic relationship with his girlfriend where they seem to be very hot and cold with eachother (although he says they never argue in front of the girls and that she's good with them.)
I feel torn as one one hand I'm really struggling with single motherhood and am desperate for some more help and am full of resentment for him not doing his bit. But on the other hand I don't know if the above circumstances are appropriate. I would appreciate everyone's thoughts.