First handover

[fantasticoplastico]

This week I've got my first handover of my children for the Easter holidays. I've got long hours at work booked so there will be plenty of distractions.

But any tips/advice both emotionally and if practical would be appreciated.

Remember that kids pick up on non verbal actions and feelings so try and be relaxed and appear confident in them having the weekend away no matter how you feel. My Mum and Dad split when I was 9 and I could feel the tension between them, that grew as impending visits neared and I in turn got stressed, which upset my mum....it was a vicious circle.

Having stuff to distract you is good, but some downtime for you involving fun, would be good too. You need a break and the kids need to know you are OK when they are not around. I worried about my mum being on her own when I was at Dads. Strangely I never worried about Dad being on his own the rest of the time....maybe because he had chosen to leave. Anyway if the kids come back to a relaxed mum, it removes the impending tension of future visits and thinks should get easier to handle.

Its stressful isn't it!

I had t even thought they might worry about me. Bloody hell.

You haven't said how old they are. Every situation is different but I felt disloyal somehow leaving my Mum, as it was my Dad who ran off with someone else. I wanted to see my Dad but felt guilty about how it may look to mum and was worried about leaving her on her own. Normalise it as soon as possible., don't show stress, tell them you love them and want them to have a nice time. Tell them you are only a phone call away. Both parents need to park the "two sides to every story" stance and not share it with the kids, peace and establishing normality is what is needed. Its tough. Big hugs and I hope it goes well.x