H is struggling with normal everyday life. He doesn't get on with my parents (admittedly they can be difficult) , and he doesn't have much time for his mum. He gets on very well with our DD but not so much DS. He has a couple of friends and a lot of older relatives who he visits and helps on a regular basis. He is very house proud, garden proud, loves his car and generally busy making sure that everything is neat tidy and clean. He moans that he has no time to chill as he is either working or putting the house or garden back together. The house and garden are in my eyes fine but in his eyes a constant mess. We spend no time together as I am alot more social than him so go out with friends at least once a week - he needs to stay home to do house maintenance.
We had a lovely child free couple of days away just after christmas and there were no jobs for him to do - he found this really really hard - and actually ending up scrubbing floors of the air bnb we were staying in. We went for a couple of meals out and a lovely long winter walk and we got on really well but when we returned and he has to communicate with his mum in laws and our son and keep the house he pristine he hits this big depression about how much pressure is put on him.
He moans we never have sex - main issue is he needs 8-9 hrs sleep a night I can survive on 7. He is exhausted by the end of his day because he never stops so ready for bed by 9.30pm. I need some relaxing me time at the end of the day so dont go to bed till midnight.
He needs to cut down on the amount of cleaning he does but surely the rest is just normal life. I will not stop talking to my parents because they annoy him, he can stop talking to his mum if he likes but I won't because I actually get on quite well with her. He is welcome to join me when I go out.
He blames me and says I expect too much of him when all he wants to do is chill. I don't expect ANY of the above. Where do we go from here?