I left my partner because they kept breaking a simple promise.
Last week I left my relationship of 1 1/2 years. There was an age gap between us, but it never affected any of our relationship and we were really on the same level, interests, goals. I encouraged him over the time we were together to try new experiences as he was very introverted. He always had a brilliant time and we made some fantastic memories doing this.
The problem is has been that we both suffer with mental health problems. He has period of depression which caused him to shut down for a few days at a time. This happens several times a few months into our relationship and caused a few arguments. Once I understood what was happening I was absolutely fine and we discussed how to go forward. we agreed that when he has episodes where he needs his space for a few days he would text to let me know he was going to be off grid for a few days because he was getting his head straight. He told me he can’t lose me so I hoped he’d be serious about this was damaging me. They have been incidences since where he has actually done this, but the ones that he hasn’t have outnumbered this and recently This all came to a head.
He did another of his vanishing acts and didn’t tell me. Bearing in mind he has had a suicide attempt him going off grid is obviously of massive anxiety for me. When he finally gets back to me, he acts like nothings happened and will tell me that about what he’s been up to, which usually involves gaming online, having movie nights online with friends and going to the shop, the laundry et cetera but he wouldn’t text me to say he was okay. To me that is a CHOICE not to. He’s not that depressed during those periods. I hate to say it that plain.
He then cancelled a night that he suggested twice in the space of 10 days and then made another delay disappearing again after.
We have weekly dates so this was 3 weeks going on a month since I’d seen him by this point.
I’ve had more than enough by this point, and I told him that it was over, and it was all too much to cope with.
I feel that I’ve been more than fair and supporting him with his mental health problems and helping him and encouraging as partners do. Obviously there’s a lot more to this story, but I can’t really go into it on here so this is the basics.
I obviously feel bad that he may be upset. But part of me thinks, will he be that upset?? He can easily bugger off for days on end.
. I know that he left a message on messenger, but I didn’t look at it and now he’s deleted the thread so I can only assume that he ranted at me for pages and pages and pages because that’s his MO. Mine isn’t usually but unfortunately I’ve had to write quite a lot to try to explain the situation a little bit complicated. Please excuse the typos. I am using the accessibility function on my phone as I have no use of my hands at the moment.
Im all over the show at the moment. I know deep down I’ve done the right thing, but I still feel really bad and I obviously still have feelings for him because we had a good time. We had plans et cetera but how much do you take if somebody can’t change something so small?