Are these red flags, and am I being ghosted/slow faded?

[blueburstbell]

Hi, I went on a date with this guy about a week ago. I didn't like him at first, but as I heard him talk I began to like him more so to speak, and we kissed. He got very touchy feely and began feeling me up on the tube, like putting his hands down my pants and literally trying to do heavy petting. Some parts made me quite uncomfortable and I told him to stop doing one thing, he stopped and then tried to do it again and then he stopped.

He planned about three dates in advance while I was there. I have heard from him every day since, though I used to hear from him twice a day, now it's once a day. He used to reply straight away and now he takes ages. I am supposed to be seeing him tomorrow but I'm not sure if he still wants to.

What do I do? Should I still see him tomorrow, and are these red flags? Is he slow fading me?

Thank you

This would be enough for me “I told him to stop doing one thing, he stopped and then tried to do it again and then he stopped.”

Definite red flags.. it sounds like he was just after a bit to be honest. I'm no prude but putting his hands down your pants on the tube is just horrible, and especially on your first date!

three dates with you or with other?

three dates with me. We put them in on my phone

I must have lead a very sheltered life but on the tube? Really? Is that a thing these days?

He’s too pushy. No wonder you felt uncomfortable, esp in public view.

Get yourself a chap with better boundaries OP. This guy isn’t for you or ….
get a room.

This is parody.

what do you mean? I know it's a bit funny.. but I'm not kidding, this actually happened and I'm confused about how to feel about it hahaha

Assuming this is true ( because it does sound like a reverse)

Do you think he treated you with respect?

Is his behaviour since the first date respectful?

my advice - run away from the multiple red flags in this post 🚩 🚩

On the tube 🤢 grim.

You can do better - someone who respects your boundaries for a start.

Slow fade is irrelevant!

This really does not sound like the start of of a great romance. Seems incredibly sleazy in fact.

On a first date and on the tube, that is sleazy. He was testing your boundaries, then tried again to see how firm your boundaries are, hoping you'd be the type who gives in easily. Don't be that type, chuck this one back.

Why on earth would you want to see this vile person.
He is disgusting. You told him to stop, he didn't. You should be running for the hills. Raise your standards OP.

He put his hands down your pants on the tube the first night you met him? Ewwww. He made you feel uncomfortable and he tried to do it again when you told him no. And you’re worried he might not want to see you
again tomorrow?

Seriously OP, where are your boundaries? I’m not sure you should be dating as this is some shocking behaviour this creep has displayed and you’re worried that HE has lost interest when you should have the major ick and be running for the hills.

You even said you didn’t like him that much so why are you not disgusted by him? You deserve better then being felt up on the tube by some prick you didn’t even like.

You are ignoring the red flags in front of you

You didn't like him at first
He had his hands all over you on the tube

Think why you are putting up with things you don't like, you don't need to please him and he's not the only choice you're ever going to have.

He's trying his luck to arrange a quick succession of dates to get in your knickers, only his interest has waned already, probably hitting on lots of women/girls, I assume you are young?

Don't waste your time with him.

And they say romance is dead.

What the hell were you thinking letting him put his hands down your pants on the tube? Have you not heard of public decency?

Surely this isn’t real. He sounds gross.

Hi, thank you for all the responses. I feel very ashamed, as i’m not usually like that or even a very sexual person really.

I’ve ended things, as I don’t want to act in that way again with anyone, and I’m honestly creeped out by it. I guess I just got caught up in it.

I’m going to make sure I never lower my standards again, as I truly thought that I should give him a chance as I didn’t want to be shallow and reject him because I wasn’t physically attracted to him. I tried to be nice but honestly I just didn’t know what to do.

thank you again, and yes this is real! I have Asperger’s so if my post comes across as a bit odd like I’m asking a stupid question, it’s because of that. I’m not writing to parody anything, believe me, this happened and I feel very ashamed about it.

thank you again for the responses!

I'm confused about how to feel about it

Well, did you like it? That's the only question to ask yourself in these situations. If a person makes you want to post on a forum during the dating stage, dump them. It's good that you have with this guy.

But, in all honesty, stay away from anybody who doesn't blow your socks off. The thig that will distinguish your future partner from all others is how many times you find yourself saying 'wow' about him, and that will be consistent, rather than on and off.

Don’t be ashamed @blueburstbell as you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s awful that us women still feel the need to put the feelings of men above our own and accept shitty behaviour that makes us uncomfortable so as not to cause offence. We have had years of conditioning to be “nice and polite” so as not to “hurt” some creeps feelings.

Well done for ending it. We all make mistakes and at least you’ve learned a lesson there.