Boyfriend spends time with ex's family

[Maxine2710]

Been dating 4 months, new boyfriend is very close to his ex's parents, and neices/nephews and ex sister in law/her hubby. I have meet one nephew and we got on well, he was nice with me. There was a family get together this holiday, including his ex in laws and with another nephew/his girlfriend staying at my boyfriends overnight . I was not invited. Nor did he invite me to pop up for a coffee and meet them. I am feeling very insecure now which is not normal for me. I had already asked him if it was too soon for him, and if so I would of course stay away, but he said No of course not, so I have spent the holiday on my own, as I didn't make plans thinking that I would perhaps be invited to meet them, even if just for a coffee. He is great in every other way, and he obviously care a lot about me, but I am wondering if this ex family will be a problem for me, or am I over reacting. I have no family at all of my own, so not really sure how/when new partners meet family. We are both in our 50's. He also sent me pic/video of their get together having a good time. Not sure why ?

Thanks for that. Had a lovely meal with boyfriend and his family last night, turns out their daughter in law is my best mates daughter, so they came too and my best mater/her husband Boyfriend said he always wanted me to meet them, but didn't want to overwhelm me too soon, as I don't have any family, and was sending me photos so I would know who was who when I did meet them - which he very much wanted me to. Just goes to show how wrong we can get things if we overthink them. And it is actually him who is moving faster than me, I haven't pushed him. We are of an older age group (50's) so niether of us are idiots, both lost our spouses to cancer, so are very aware of how short life is. But obviously you weren't aware of all that when you left your response, so I appreciate you view point. Many thanks

Also, I met my first husband and we were married within 6 months - married for 22 extremely happy years until he got cancer. We saw each other every day at work and most evenings. Sometimes if you know it is right, it does move along quickly.

It's only four months, why would he introduce you yet?

My partners exs parents live abroad. He flys out every year to stay with them whilst his children are staying out there with them for the summer. No issue with it. I went along last year and met them.

He's still in close contact with her brother and her family, he was invited to his wedding last year. He's been in their lives for a long time. He's not going to just cut them off. And it's actually really lovely and a testament to him as a person.

Just think if he was a total arse they wouldn't want him around.

Have now met them, they wanted to meet me and we got on really well, they just didn't want to rush me, as I dont have any family and they thought that a huge family would overwhelm me - but I have been made very welcome and they are just happy that he and i are happy together. Also, my parents met and married in 4 months and were happily for married 54 years until she passed. Time is irrelevant really, it's how you feel about someone.

Have now met them, lovely people and they wanted to meet me all along, just didn't want to overwhelm me with their big family. They are just happy that he and I are happy together, and as you say it is a huge testamant to a person being a good person if they still want him around.

Wondering why you have had posters rushing in to tell you that your feelings aren't valid and they wouldn't have a problem with it. That's bullshit.
OP, I wouldn't want to be a part of this. So his ex had an affair so has been banished from her own family? I wouldn't want to be involved with a man who plays these games. He seems frantic in his efforts to keep the ex away from her family. That makes me feel uneasy.
Why do you want this drama in your 50's?