He told me to leave then

[teacheroffsick]

Arguing with H again. I hate living with him and would divorce him if it didn't seem so difficult. I am currently unemployed and am looking for part-time work (30hrs). Two children. Mortgage. I told him I hate living with him as he makes me feel like shit, and he said 'well leave then.' I feel completely trapped.

It's blunt but he's right, you can't stay in a situation that makes you this unhappy, you need a plan to get out and quickly

I feel your pain. I also can’t afford to leave and not entitled to UC.

How can I leave though? I have no income. Where would I live? This is why I feel trapped.

If you are married and primary caregiver to the children you can ask him to leave. Ring Women's Aid and get advice and support OP.

He would never leave.

Why argue? Just start the divorce.Both stay in the house until one buys the other out, or it sells.

What does it mean 'to buy the other out'? Both names are on the mortgage but he's been paying it from his account as I've been paying for childcare/child related stuff.

You could start divorce proceedings if you want your marriage to end and still live in the same house.

How old are your children? Do you have family that could help you?

Your name is on the mortgage and you are married - it is a shared asset.

Speak to a solicitor.

You're not trapped, plenty of people live on benefits, with children you get more money. When you get a job, you'll be likely to get some benefits.

yes, it takes energy to leave, but isn't it worth it for your kids sake? You'll probably have much more energy when you ditch the twat!!

It's an asset if the marriage. It doesn't matter which account the mortgage has been coming out of.

you need to see a solicitor & you need to stop believing any of the shit coming out of him.

I don't think I would get benefits as we have £16k savings

A solicitor will be able to advise.

Get the house valued. Sell it. Pay off the mortgage you jointly have. Whatever is left you split 50:50 and use as a deposit on your new home.

You need to see a solicitor and file for divorce. Can you squirrel away some money to do that? Some solicitors will give you the first 30mins free. You need advice so you can quietly get your ducks in a row. If you have 16k in savings can't you take half of that money and rent and furnish a place for you and the kids? I think most solicitors will tell you to stay in the home.

No, you have 8K. All assets are split in half.

House equity, savings, pensions, cars etc are split equally in a divorce. Go speak to a solicitor for a one off consultation (costs vary from £100 to £200), collect all financial statements for both you and him. Look at benefits calculator, and get that job as you will need references/wages for rentals or a mortgage. Good luck!

Surely divorcing him is the lesser of the two evils?