Relationship breakdown - How would you deal with this ?

[Gobsmacked11]

I'm a guy and I have split up with a partner of two and a half years over her behaviour and jealousy.
I posted on here about some of her behaviour regarding my children where she was completely inappropriate and took completely innocent and innocuous actions and drew ludicrous and offensive conclusions.
Objecting to me hugging my daughters, or spending time alone with them.
Accused me of an affair with a work collegue when we went to a conference and stayed overnight, and an affair with someone who was on a course I was taking.

I posted some of this on here and the advice was pretty universal that I should leave the relationship, which I have now done, better late than never!

She has not taken this well and has beseiged be with calls, whatsapp messages, texts and emails which range from "you're a piece of shit" and "a creepy old man" to "come round and f* me" and how much she loves me.

She is convinced that there is outside influence on why we have broken up and cannot accept that any of it is the result of her behaviour. Everyone is jealous of her financial and academic success.

She came round to my house last weekend at 11pm and knocked on the door
for 40 minutes, I didn't answer the door and was on the verge of calling the police.

She has now started to email, hurtful messages to my family accusing them of being behind me splitting with her and has sent these to my children too.
I have asked my children to block her number.

Neither I, nor my family have replied to any of these other than me to a couple of initial ones where I restated, with kindness, that this was a firm decision from me and I would not be changing it.

I am worried that she will try to damage my children, I would not be surprised if she continued and tried to email work collegues too.

What is the best approach to dealing with this?

Someone will come along in a minute who perhaps can answer this better than me. However it sounds like harassment; I would telephone the police non emergency line and ask for advice on how to manage it.
Personally I would send her one email advising her that her behaviour constitutes harassment and future incidents, emails message etc will be reported to the police.

I concur with the PP. Don’t delete any of the messages or call logs. Contact the police and tell them you’re being harassed and have an audit trail.

Then send her one message advising her that you’ve told the police and any further communication will be used as evidence of harassment and don’t communicate further.

Wow you def made the right decision in breaking up with her! Yes I think that's the only way to play this, re harassment and police. Do that and grey rock her so she has no fodder for any further drama.
Good luck!

Thank you - I was wondering about getting the police involved.
I don't want to harm her career or standing, just want her to recognise that our relationship is ended and she needs to move on elsewhere.

Find some other poor man, ideally with no children so she can focus on someone else!!

Yet more messages today about how deeply were in love, until my family split us up. The truth is that I finally came to my senses, over a year too late, and realised that whatever she said, she would always revert to form and could not bear to see me with my children

I don't think calling the police on her for harassment will harm her career or standing. My DD had to report her ex for harassment (twice). On both occasions he was called in for 'interview' and it has not affected his career.

I believe that the only people who need to know are those people you and ex choose to tell, but it might shock her into stopping.

Thanks - I think if she continues I will involve the police.
I am furious that she has been sending spitefilled messages to my children!
They have now blocked both of her numbers

I am keeping the messages, but have archived her on Whatsapp so I don't see them when she sends them

Report it to the police. That's what I'd be doing if my ex messaged my children!

She's bat 💩

I've had two stalkers, one a dangerous man and another whom I did know.

The police told me that the majority of stalkers and harassment reports are made by men who have ex partners that have not copes well with a break up.

You and your family are being harassed and you should inform the police.

They'll speak to her which should be enough for her to move on and leave you alone.

If she doesn't then the police may charge her and you may have to get a restraining order.

Do not reply to her. Block her on everything and ask your family to do the same.

Never answer the door to her and if she comes to your home, call the police.

Thank-you!

I have been in the situation where a relationship that I desperately wanted to continue has ended, so I know how hard it must be for her. But it was her own narcissim and jealousy which has caused this fracture.,

The other night I was beginning to think that she would never leave. I have just moved to a new house, so god knows what the neighbours must have thought!
I will move my car off the drive tomorrow evening as she thinks I have gone to stay with my family over Easter, it would not surprise me if I had another visit from her tomorrow night.

I would definitely be looking at getting a non molestation order. You can do it yourself, just fill in the forms and print off all of the evidence and show it to the judge.

I got an emergency court slot and was given the non mole right away.

I would continue to block. You have made yourself clear in the kindest way. Keep a log and if it continues tell her you will press charges

some really good advice
Thanks