No friends

[friendless24]

This might be long (NC for this)

I had a small group of close friends as most people did and then we drifted. One got married and drifted away. One moved to the other end of the country. One had children and now only socialises with people with DC. One I ended the friendship after she stole from me

I'm single with no DC and now worrying I'm weird. I have long online friendships who I speak to daily, I chat to colleagues on WhatsApp etc and speak to my neighbours
In summer I swim with a group of people (wimp who doesn't swim in winter outdoors!)

My job means I speak to hundreds of people a day and it's mentally draining plus I have health issues that give me fatigue

So weekdays I finish work and exercise, shower, cook and it's 8pm and I'm ready to sit down and not speak to anyone! Or I finish work and need to sleep
Weekends I catch up on stuff like batch cooking, cleaning etc

Just feel odd as people are always "oh what did you do this weekend?" And I'm.. "nothing"
It feels like I spend all my time recovering from work

I think your normal.

If you want more friends do more hobbies or volunter.

That's the thing - I physically can't

Work 40hrs a week and have to limit myself at working that because my health issues won't let me do anything else

On a Friday (so it doesn't affect my work) I have to do a medication which gives me 24hrs of flu symptoms (headache, shivering, fever, faint, nausea, bone pain) which writes the bloody weekend off too

I guess I'm just venting, feeling like what is the point of just working and nothing else and feeling a bit pathetic and lost

What about a book club or similar? Stuff like that tends to be monthly so less pressure.

I mean I don't really have friends either but I do have a dh n 3 kids which kind of disguises the lack of interest in spending time with people

Yeah that could be an idea
I do enjoy the swim as it's on a Sunday and no pressure to go or not as such
Bad relationship breakup last year so I'm not dating either but again who wants someone who's permanently knackered or sick

You sound normal. Lots of people are all 'peopled-out' at work, so sadly have no social energy left when they get home / at weekends.

I do have a male "friend" so it isn't entirely joyless but that's very much a fun every couple of weeks thing not a hanging out watching a film thing

Just feel odd as people are always "oh what did you do this weekend?" And I'm.. "nothing"

You are dealing with some difficult circumstances right now. But you are managing to hold down a job and to take care of your health. You have some online friends, you swim in the summer, and you are thinking of developing other activities where you might well make new friends.

You don't need to feel odd. Everybody's path is different. If someone asks you about the week-end, just say, "I relaxed and chilled, how about you?" Unless it's a friend asking, nobody cares, really, they mostly want to talk about themselves.

Sending good wishes for the improvement of your situation, especially your health. That's the key to everything.

I don't see anything wrong with your schedule. If I didn't have children I would most definitely be a cat lady 😅 people are over rated anyway. Sounds like you get your healthy interactions at work.

I actually WFH but my job is such (call centre) that there's little interaction with colleagues anyway, but I do spend all day talking to people!

Is there any scope for cutting your hours so you have more time to refresh during the week? It does sound tough…

i second the book club idea. I’ve met some really interesting people through mine, who I’ve slowly become friends with.

You're by no means weird for doing little at the weekend, especially in light of your health. Lots of people dash around like mad fools, trying to make/keep loads of friends and running themselves ragged. But if that doesn’t suit you, it’s fine, and is probably what the majority of us do 😊

Unfortunately not - min wage and living alone and paying a mortgage I need all the money!
32hrs would definitely be ideal but I can't afford it

I am a bit similar to you OP, as a LP it is almost impossible to maintain a social life. I have accepted it (for now) which is much easier than railing against it upset. I use my time productively where I can - online courses, learning, upskilling, creative projects - stuff I can do from home basically. I do it in the knowledge that at some point in the future I will have more time again to socialise. For now I have decided to be happy in my fairly solitary life and "make lemonade" by utilising my solitary time to the max when I can, or resting etc rather than wallowing in it.

I know that in the future it will change as my DC get older and this is much easier for me than getting over-upset about it.

I do focus on the few relationships I do have (DC, family) etc which is almost enough.

It sounds like you're describing my exact life!! Lol.

My best friend in the world lives abroad, I had a couple of other really close friends, but due to reasons I won't bore you with, we're no longer close.

I speak to many people for work, as I'm in sales, I chat with a work girl friend by WhatsApp during the week when working.

See my husband briefly in the morning and very late into the evening when he returns from work.

No DC, we lost our baby last year.

I see my mum, this is one of my favourite things to do, but that's it 😊

Sometimes, I think I'd love to have a girlfriend to chat with and have some fun with, but I don't know if I really want that or am just thinking I do, lol.

Honestly, I think it's quite common now to be like us! Xx

In terms of lifestyle and not having friends, unfortunately this sounds fairly normal these days, especially for single men whenever all of their old friends get married in their mid 20s. I don't have any friends either, so I try to find other things to invest my time and energy into.

I hope there is improvement in your health OP and you will be relax on days off work.