Looong story short...
Husband and I separated 2.5 years ago. Neither of us have met anyone significant to move on with and that is probably because we still do a lot as a family. We have a lot in common, scarily so. We like the same holidays, we have the same hobbies and the same outlook on a lot of things to do with our children etc. We are amicable because we want the children to have healthy role models and not have to be in the middle of feuding parents. BUT, I have days when I cannot tolerate him. Today, for example, we walked, had a couple of drinks in the sunshine and had dinner as a family. I have felt fine all day but then as soon as dinner was over, I wanted him gone. I actually despise him at times. Believe it or not, we have talked a lot about whether to get back together. We have an amazing out be this fantastic family and just can't seem to get passed that feeling of 'what if'!
The problem I have just now is that he keeps saying that 'he's fine' and that he hasn't changed or that there's nothing wrong with him. Therefore, even though I know this is a defence mechanism in his part, it feels like he's blaming me. Inside I am raging at this and I want to scream that if we were right for each other it wouldn't be this hard!!!!!
Please help. I don't know if my emotions are hormone related, peri-menopause, emotional exhaustion from almost 3 years of fucking about or depression etc. He says he wants us to work things out but that if I can't tolerate him it won't work. Are these things as one-sided as that?
I'm so confused! 😞 thank you soo much x x