My Dad said your teeth are brown

[mcmen05]

Don't know what title to post under.
I am 53, I go to visit my dad once a fortnight today while I visited he said your teeth are very brown can you not get them whitened.
I was really taken a back and hurt yes I know how bad my teeth look but I can no afford to get whitened. I do go to dentist and get them cleaned but they are discoloured.
He does sometimes come out with one liners and everyone laughs it off.
He also said to my 20 year old daughter you put on weight. I said don't say that.
She is a size 8 to 10 so is definitely not fat 9r overweight. He then said I'm just joking.
I really want to never visit again after today but I just can't hold a grudge and not go as he is 89 and some health problems and my whole family would ignore me if I didn't visit.

You don't have to visit him if you don't want to, no matter what your family's opinion on it is.
Do you think he's starting to lose his faculties or has he always been like this? I would have more tolerance if I thought he was starting to succumb to dementia but if he's always just been rude, then old age is not a good enough reason to put up with it.
Certainly I would keep my daughter away - so easy to trigger eating disorders in kids by making them feel fat when they are not!

“Because I can’t afford it but happy for you to pay for it, thanks Dad.”

@LadyBird1973 the daughter is 20. Old enough to deal with Grandad herself. Not for the op to 'keep her away'

Sounds as if his Frontal Lobe is going.

My daughter is away at uni and facetimed ne when I was with him so I asked do you want to talk to Granda he wouldn't normally say anything rude to grandkids.
He has only started been rude since my mum died 6 years ago.
I'm more annoyed about him saying that to my daughter cause its not true. I told him off for that and he went outside for a while.

But yes I do have discoloured teeth and would love to have them whitened does anyone have any advice on what I could do with them.

Can dementia make you say offensive things. He has always had bad memory for things like birthdays and ages but remembers everything else.

@NearlyBritishSummertimeYay I disagree that the OPs dd is old enough to deal with it herself - it's hard for grandchildren to speak up to grandparents, even the OP is struggling with this. At 20, she is still young enough to be overly affected by her grandad telling her she's fat and still needs her mum to protect her. IMO anyway.

Colgate do a fab expert whitening toothpaste, it’s around £8 and is fab. Also google crest teeth whitening strips, they are fab!

I do think it's possible for people to become very rude when they are starting to lose their faculties. If your dad has only started this in the last few years, I do think it might be worth getting him checked out. How did he respond to you telling him not to say that to your dd?
It's the sort of thing my mum would say tbh - she is fine mentally, just has no filter and has years of being influenced by horrible diet culture. But she's better since I talked to her about triggering eating disorders and how if she wants dd to visit, she cannot he critical!

Re whitening, can you see the dental hygienist and get a proper scale and polish? Cheaper than whitening treatments. Other than that all I can think of is avoiding coffee/tea/red wine and maybe buying whitening strips.

Thanks all, I am very anxious person and started Seraltine in January he is part of the reason because of hurtful comments.
@LadyBird1973 when I said to him you shouldn't say that he got up and walked out for about 5 minutes came back like nothing happened and I didn't say anything further as I have got blame for upsetting my mum years ago but she always favoured other family members and huffed when I pointed it out so I don't want to argue with him.
I try and avoid visits for my mental health but then I feel guilty.

There are threads on here that might help you with the guilt and obligation you feel. It's very hard to break away from it, even when your parents have not bern the best.
You don't have anything to feel guilty about - people who were selfish/mean/horrible while they were younger, don't magically become better people when they get old! We see older people as somehow benevolent, gentle, sweet etc, but they are just the same people they always were, only older! And therefore no more deserving of your time than any young arsehole would be!
It's hard but you need to train yourself not to care too much about the feelings of people who never cared about your feelings. If they were horrible parents then they don't deserve your guilt.
It is hard though. The important thing is to focus on your daughter and your own life. You don't owe your dad the right to be a dick to your kid!