I (37) have been with my DP (43) for 8 years. He's italian, I'm English naturalised Italian. We spent 7 years living together in italy and last spring everything came to a head and I moved back to the UK.
It was a combination of things really. I found myself missing the UK and things had turned bad between us, mainly due to:
- Financial disagreements: both of us have always been self employed, but me more successfully than him. Covid fucked his business and he wasn't doing anything about it, he spent 3 years limping and not reacting.
- I missed the UK.
- He refused to be flexible about where we lived within Italy.
I've been back in the UK a year now and we have continued our relationship and seeing each other every month. He got a job and sorted out his finances. I retrained and last month I got a job in HR, big jump away from SE, but I felt it had to be done as my trade had started to crumble due to tech so I was trying to preempt.
All sounds good except...we really miss each other and we've decided we would really like to live together again and have a kid. But obviously we aren't spring chickens. I feel like we wasted a lot of time (both of us are pretty useless about long term plans and vision as you can see). I feel like we've fucked things up. My tenancy runs out here in July and I just don't know what to do. I really like my new job. There's no way he can come and work jn the UK (unskilled) and anyway I'd want to ultimately go back to Italy.
What should I do :/