Everyday struggles

[Kay101]

Struggling with general life, I’m 31 and feel lost in life. I don’t really have any family at all, and Loneliness has been killing me. I have decided to seek counselling as I think I need it now. I grew up in foster care, I do see my real mother occasionally but she’s not really maternal and there’s never been a relationship. I feel like people really just don’t rate me, I’m tired of being left by people, mainly ‘friends’ I don’t really have a lot of friends which I’m fine with, and even then I find it hard to make genuine connections with people, the minute I think I’m getting somewhere friendship wise, I never hear from them unless I initiate contact first, also everyone around me seems to be getting married or having babies, (not saying I want these things now) I know things happen at their own pace and I shouldn’t compare myself to anyone. I just don’t know how to cope anymore.

Sorry to hear that! You are so young too! Do you have a job? Any hobbies that you could do with other people? Volunteer? Join a choir? Attend a class? Structured social activities can help people make meaningful connections. Have a look at groups that meet face to face in your area and hopefully you can find something that genuinely interests you and allows you to meet like minded people!

@Ioverslept hiya yes i do have a job, yeah maybe i will look into a class of something. Thanks

Hi,
I'm in my fifties now and have some similarities with your story. It took me a long while to really get my head around all of the things that happened to me and seeing a therapist really helped. Actually my life turned around during my thirties and gradually became so much better but I reached that turning point and it could have gone up or down. Keep going @Kay101 . I know how it feels not to be able to connect with people but it may get easier. Putting the work into yourself helps. Meditation, yoga, music, art etc can help make your spirit feel warm and comforted, like a big hug.

@3rdeyeview hello aww im glad you’re doing ok. Thank you for the advice too

I know what you mean about social situations, I like the idea of going out and being social, but find it draining, I never know what to say to people, then worry about how I am coming across, a problem I didn’t have as a child. Volunteering is a good idea as you are there to do an activity and not make small talk and the people tend to be friendly and appreciate you being there. I also remember reading about highly sensitive people and one of the traits they have is finding social situations exhausting, look it up on the internet.