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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Only 1 week past final separation - it's great!!!

3 replies

TheSilentSister · 29/03/2024 21:48

I've been living with my ex for 7 years, 7 bloody years. Finally sold the house and I've moved into my late DM's house with my DC and pets.
I can't believe how much better I feel already. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I see a future.
I've still got to sell my DM's house and move again but it's given me a breather.

I'm not preaching, not at all. It's taken me 7 yrs from telling my 'D' H that I wanted to separate. I could have caved in for an easy life at any time but nope, I was steadfast and determined.

I guess the point of the post is, stay firm, keep your goal in sight, get your ducks in a row.

At 56 I'm finally looking forward to my future. I fell out of love with 'D'H well before I finally told him I wanted to separate, kept stalling, like you do. Hadn't a clue what would happen but knew I just couldn't live a lie. We managed to co-parent/co-live for a long time and at the end of the day, he's a good friend, just not a good husband. Knowing the end was finally in sight, it became a bit toxic but hey ho, it's done now.

7 years though, wow, can't believe it's finally over. Hit me.

OP posts:
Iggityziggety · 29/03/2024 21:59

Congratulations! This has really helped me to read today. I'm only 4 months in to living with ex but it's been rocky and on/off for years. Part of me can't wait to leave, part of me worries things won't be any better. This has given me hope so thank you.

Itsrainingoverhere · 29/03/2024 22:07

My own mixed feelings and following please

TheSilentSister · 29/03/2024 22:21

Tbh I feel like a fraud. I often state LTB. It's not easy though. I always hope it's the push to make the OP think of their options. I'm ashamed it's taken me 7 yrs. In just the few days I've had some frank conversations with my DC and they are so happy we are out of the toxic environment we were in. DC is a teen now and is more aware and I'm ashamed to say heard toxic raised words between ex and I recently. I honestly didn't think he hadn't heard, so it's shaken me that he did.
All is calm in the house. I don't have to worry about a pissed ex turning out and mouthing off at me, going to bed feeling fretful.

OP posts:
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