How long does it take after leaving DV to feel ok again?

[Wigglytuff345]

Just that really, I left three years ago and lost everything in the process and had to start from scratch.

I still feel like most of the time I’m struggling to survive and can’t remember the last time I felt safe. I hadn’t been allowed to work whilst married and got nothing in the divorce as it was too unsafe to pursue, so the financial consequences have been dire. I don’t feel like having a ‘normal’ life is possible anymore and I feel like I’m always going to be dealing with the consequences of what happened.

I’m done with dating as men are so horrific, and have accepted I won’t have kids (I’m 34 now), but it also feels like I won’t even have my own home at this rate, or any stability.

I think I’m just about done at this point. I’m so tired and alone.

If you escaped DV how long did it take to feel like things were back on track? Thank you x

Oh god OP massive empathy here! I would consider counselling first and maybe moving to a different city / country for a fresh start <3

Thank you, but I can’t afford any of that. I’ve been left with crippling debt from the marriage and having to retrain. Honestly it feels like I’ve left one trap for another.

Can you speak to a solicitor and declare insolvency? It sounds like you are the very person the insolvency laws are there to support. Or depending on your debt type stepchange or mabs (or UK equivalent) could help.

The very best of luck op.

I’m training to be a lawyer so if I declare insolvency it will ruin my intended career, and everything I’ve been through would have been for nothing.

I’m not trying to be super negative, I’ve honestly worked my ass off since I left and sacrificed pretty much everything, but I feel no further along. My job doesn’t pay me enough to live on, it just services my debts, I’m living with my parents and can’t afford to pay them rent, but they’re expecting to be paid back at some point, so not sure how I will ever manage that. They also make it very clear I’m not wanted here and as I said, it feels like I just swapped one trap for another. I think if I even had a brief period of time where I felt safe enough to catch a breath I would be ok but for the last three years it’s just been frantic survival. I am utterly exhausted. I would have thought three years out I would be doing better by now.