Would it be wrong to contact this man and ask for a date?

[WellThatEsculatedQuickly]

I'm mid 40s and have been single, and not looking, for around 15 years. I've been happy with my single status. The reason for this is that leading up to my early 30s I was involved in a long line of abusive and toxic relationships.

I have also been seriously sexually assaulted more than once. But I don't want to talk about that now.

My traumatic relationships are without a doubt due to my childhood..... I grew up seeing domestic violence from dad to mum, dad threatening me and my siblings with weapons, dad using weapons to beat my older brother, mum being completely emotionally unavailable, mum going out of her way to be cruel to me and destroy my self esteem, and also destroy any realistic chance of me making something of myself.

I developed quite severe mental health problems. I ended up in therapy and support from nhs secondary mental health. I hit rock bottom.

One day, a couple of years ago, while recovering and receiving support, I was shopping in a very well known home superstore. A male shop assistant asked if he could help me. He helped me find what I was looking for....which was a cycling accessory.

Me and him got talking about cycling and other hobbies....outdoors stuff, walking, hiking etc

I would just go back into the shop and buy something else and see if he still works there, see if he still chatty and take it from there. I wouldn't ask him out straight away though!

Could you join a local cycling group?

It's only inappropriate if you're seeking emotional fulfillment from him. Your upbringing, marked by emotionally distant and abusive parents, left you craving support, interest, kindness, and tenderness, which his basic kindness over the past two years has filled a void in your life.

You're hoping he can heal your emotional wounds.

If you initiate the conversation, it might come across as odd, perhaps suggesting you've been keeping tabs on him. He might think that if he remembers you and is still around. If he's no longer there, and you find him on social media, what then?

If closure is what you need, go for it. But be prepared for the possibility of rejection, him not working there anymore, and so on.

It seems like he was simply doing his job by engaging in friendly conversation to potentially secure a loyal customer in the long run.