prostitutes

[houseslave43]

me and hubby seperated 4 weeks ago and are going to relate as we have quite a lot of issues.
when we first met he admitted he had visited massage parlours a few times for sex but didnt go back
2 nights ago he admitted to me he had been a regular punter for years i feel sick to my boots and lied to,
he has always had a porn addiction,mags internet etc but now i am wondering if he has been a regular since we met,he denies seeing prostitutes since we met but i feel gobsmacked that this father of my kids was a dirty punter .am i overeacting has anybody else had this problem too.
i have told to keep away from us this weekend as i dont want to see him as i am stressed ,he doesnt know that why i am in this keep away mood as i dont even want to be in the same room as him right now.

Don't know what to say that can help, but poor, poor you

How horrible for you. If I was with someone who had ever visited prostitutes it would upset me because of what I feel it would say about their attitude to women and sex. I don't like porn either. Perhaps yo u could cover these issues at your next Relate meeting? BTW, I don't think any of these things on their own make him a bad Father at all.

Oh and no, yo uaren't overreacting at all.

I would react in exactly the same way if I was givem that news. I don't think you are overreacting. However, I cannot really find anything else to say to you, hopefully someone else will come along soon with some more constructive advice.

Do you think he is lying about not seeing prostitutes since you met?

Obviously it is upsetting to think that he ever did, as nicky2times said, it says a lot about his attitude to women and sex, but perhaps the fact that he has now been open and honest with you about his past could be a good thing?

You have seperated now too, so what he did before you where even together is quite insignificant now right? Concentrate on your future, not the past of a man who you are no longer with.

sadly we were hoping to get back together this is the reason for therelate counselling,we had hoped to work our problems out somehow.

On a practical front, got to the doctors and get a well-woman check-up. It won't be fun, but you mind will be put at rest.

My dh was in the forces when I met him,and was pretty much upfront in telling me he used prostitutes for sex.It was very common wihtin his unit and friends (not saying in anyway that all forces are like this by the way).He was stationed abroad and went to well known areas-Amsterdam,Thailand etc.

I didn't know how to take it,when he told me to be honest with you,but he ws upfront from the outset.Promised me he had always used protection although I made him go for a full std and HIV test,he had no issue with my request.I don't know how I deal with honestly.My husbnad hadn't had a serious realtionship before me,and doesn't treat me with any disrespect or have issues with women that I know of.He's a kind gentle man.

I don't like the idea of the women behind the prostitution,I feel sad that some of them are forced into selling their bodies to feed,clothe children or that they need the money for drugs but I can't change my husbands past choices,I've been lucky I guess that he was honest and open from the outset and I'm able to handle his past.

I'm sorry your husband lied to you,it must be a great shock.

Very good post from namechangeranon.

It really is more about the dishonesty than the actualy stuff he did isn't it? It always hurts when you find out someone you love (or loved) lied to you.