I'm in a bit of an unusual situation and just wondered if anyone had any thoughts!
Basically I met a guy about a year ago at a shared interest group. We've only met up a couple of times in person with other people who are also part of the group, but we've also had WhatsApp video/ phonecalls just the two of us. He lives about 5 hours drive away.
I feel a real connection, chemistry and spark with him. We've got a lot in common. When we last spoke on the phone we arranged for us both to meet up in person which should be happening in a couple of weeks (it's clear that it's a date, not just meeting as friends).
But, there are a couple of problems for me. He has a job on social media as something like a dating coach for men. His main job is a corporate one - the dating coach thing is more of a sideline. He's got a reasonable amount of followers and I think he's hoping it will grow with time. At the beginning when I first met him I watched a few of his videos and just thought they were funny, and quite interesting to get an insight into the male mind.
But the problem is that since I have started to like him, I have watched more and more of his videos and am starting to feel insecure. Amongst the dating advice, he also talks a lot about past girlfriends, past sexual experiences, the type of women he likes and the latest one was about how he'd met this amazingly attractive woman (not me ha ha) and felt really drawn to her and had a fun conversation but managed to stay strong and not go running after her for her number (I think the point is that he's saying to his followers not to just run after every attractive woman you see, as you don't know what they're like. I'm not exactly sure, to be honest).
I don't know but I am basically feeling really insecure about all this. Obviously we all have a past and all find other people attractive, but it just seems so blatant and in my face!
I know he's not doing anything wrong, it's not even as if we're dating or in a relationship, but I'm just thinking that things look like they could be heading that way, and then I don't know if I could handle hearing about all that. I mean maybe I should just not watch any videos but I think I'll find it hard not to.
I don't know if I'm being overly insecure about this. The other thing is that he lives 5 hours drive away, which obviously isn't ideal if it became a longterm situation.
I guess I just don't want to get into something that could potentially become painful, but then again I haven't met anyone that I've liked this much in years!
Does anyone have any thoughts/advice?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Not sure about this guy...
Seaglitter · 28/03/2024 17:13
napody · 28/03/2024 18:15
He's like a pick up artist trainer type? No. Just no.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Ohffsbarbara · 28/03/2024 18:30
This is what I was thinking too. Like his point about not asking for the “insanely attractive“ woman’s number is to be all treat em mean to keep ‘em keen.
It sounds a bit incel-ish to me, like he’s teaching blokes how to be “irresistible to women” or something. He’s possibly a player (or wants to be!)
Id also echo what a pp said - that insane attraction (is he extremely charming?) sounds very lovebomby to me. I had this and he turned out to be a textbook covert narc - told shocking lies to get me into him. I felt like I’d met my dream man.
Not saying this is the case here but something to bear in mind. Narcs always lovebomb in the beginning and mirror you (pretending to be into everything you’re into) to reel you in. Coupled with the nature of his Instagram thing id just be wary.
napody · 28/03/2024 18:15
He's like a pick up artist trainer type? No. Just no.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.