On a whole, my FIL and MIL are great in-laws but I have started to notice that my MIL favours my BIL’s children far more than mine & my husband’s child. They have 4 grandchildren in total.
My BIL & SIL were the first to make them grandparents with a grandson, they now have 3 children, with the most recent being their first granddaughter.
MIL attended the birth of her first grandson. She went to see the second grandchild at the hospital and went to antenatal appointments with the granddaughter.
With our son, she didn’t attend anything but was still excited. She didn’t come and see him in hospital when he was born. She just sent flowers and then carried on as normal with life.
Now she babysits and dotes on her grandchildren from BIL’s all the time.
If we ask her if she can babysit ours, it’s almost like it is a burden & a huge ask from us She has BIL’s children over for a sleepover every two weeks, my son has only ever stayed twice and the once was with the other grandchildren.
I always think she will be too tired and busy to look after my son, as she works long hours at her workplace & I don’t want her to be burnt out but I do want her to have a solid relationship with my son.
My SIL & BIL almost take advantage of my MIL & I find them kind of ungrateful.
Ive noticed when MIL has been showing me photos on her phone, she has 100’s of photos of their kids and then a handful of my son.
Her friends or colleagues only ever mention those kids and on occasions they didn’t even know she had more grandchildren. That hurt!
When my SIL announced she was having a girl (what she always wanted), MIL was over the moon & instantly favoured the SIL over me. MIL has 3 sons and has always wanted a little girl to spoil.
The second grandson that was born has a mild disability and my MIL sees him every week to take him to appointments with the physio.
The first grandson was in hospital at aged 2 with an illness and she went to stay at the hospital with the SIL.
I feel like as my child has been healthy from birth, I assume she feels like she doesn’t need to devote as much time with my son but that’s totally not fair!!!
I feel guilty for feeling this way as it sounds so much like jealousy but there have been too many instances now to ignore my feelings.
Are my feelings valid or am I being unreasonable?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Grandparents favour one set of grandchildren
MumtoB2021 · 28/03/2024 16:28
AttilaTheMeerkat · 28/03/2024 16:45
What does your H think?. They are his parents so surely he has a viewpoint. This also likely predates you in that this from his parents could go back to their childhoods. Was his sibling generally more favoured/golden child back then with your now H being the less favoured/scapegoat in this family?.
Your feelings are valid. I would distance myself further from your inlaws as they are not the nice people you think they are. Grandparent favouritism should not be tolerated.
re your comment:
"I always think she will be too tired and busy to look after my son, as she works long hours at her workplace & I don’t want her to be burnt out but I do want her to have a solid relationship with my son".
Do not make what are really weak excuses for her favouritism. It's nothing to do with she working long hours at her workplace and she will not have a solid relationship with your child because she does not at heart want it. She favours her other grandchildren.
StrawberryWater · 28/03/2024 17:16
How does she treat them in regards to birthdays and Christmas? Is it fair?
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.