New bf has ss involved

[Booloohoo]

I got with a new bf last year.
His ex wife is with someone on SO register I advised bf to ring SS he did that trigger a assessment just before this we split due to ex wife accusing my kids of bullying saying I wasn't safe around their kids. I am dbs checked as I work with children. I decided I couldn't cope with the bs and left him. We remained friends.
So his kids are now on a CiN and we have talked about trying again but with changes ie I would not see or go near his house or kids due to HCBM.
But would that bring SS into my life if I wasn't not around his kids at all. ??

OP shouldn't be anywhere near the man. The fact she thinks he's fit to date and would opt in to being involved in such a mess is appalling.

Exactly it's a big mess.
I don't really want to be involved in but hes a kind man would do anything to help me and has. I believe he would have rang ss when he knew contact with SO and kids. He had already. Rang them when he found out about the relationship but ss said due to no contact with kids it wasn't a something they would get involved with and ring back when contact. Is happening.
The day he found out about the holiday he broke down crying and was very upset and angry over everything. Keep in mind he was going through bitter divorce and coming to terms with having to give up work.

ex wife and her shit show no one in the right mind would get with a SO .

This is something we have talked about us been in a relationship and having no contact with his kids. I have known him all my life our families are friends .we went to school together we had a relationship in our teens.

I would stay well away from the whole situation. Be a friend if you must but you'd be mad to get into a relationship with this guy.

"I don't really want to be involved"

This, your own words. There are other nice guys out there without the drama, pay attention to your needs first and don't let him pressure you into a relationship you clearly don't want.

He should be focusing on his children really, not investing in a new relationship - especially as that would lead to a new step parent type relationship for his children, who sound like they have enough to contend with already bless them 😟. Sorry OP - it sounds like you are very keen on him and are really wanting some votes for giving it a go. I get it, but in this case it seems like head over heart is the way to go. Doubly so as vulnerable children are involved.

Don't risk your career over him. Even if you stay away from the mother no doubt she will continue to play the fiddle so to speak.

How would you have a relationship with him without seeing his kids if two of them are fairly young and live with him full time?

To the poster who said the fact the 16 year old would rather live with a sex offender than her father says a lot about the father, have you considered the sex offender could be grooming the 16 year old?

This!

If you won't see his children and the children live with him then the relationship can't progress so what's the point?

Is this the kind of life you dreamed of when you were young? Did you think you'd be involved with sex offenders and social services and ex-wives telling you what to do?

Raise your standards for God's sake. Find some self-respect and get rid of this man and his family.

God I couldn't be bothered with all the drama, she will always bring drama and I wouldn't take the chance of risking SS with my children.

Christ no. I know he's not the sex offender but don't bring this mess into your life. You can still be friendly locally but your children and career have already been sucked in (the bullying thing plus your duty to report being invoked). Focus on these things. None of this is your problem so stay away.

PollyOttle
I am so glad you explained the acronyms the OP was using.
I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. Why do people who post in MN assume we understand all those acronyms?

What a mess she’s in. I think I’d stay well away from such drama.

OP, I think you need to step far back from this and keep you and your children away from this mess. Even if he is a lovely man, you are best off putting you and your family first. Your children have already been accused of bullying, it would be madness to expose them to this situation more than they already have been