Really struggling with no contact

[BlackScreen]

I recently ended things with my partner. I feel like I'm in physical pain having no contact with him. Ive turned the notifications off on my phone as Im getting upset when I get one and its not him, but I keep going into whatsapp just to see if he's contacted me.

Im currently off work with an injury and will be for about 8 weeks. I have nothing to do besides sit in bed and cry. My nervous system feels shot to pieces, i feel on edge, not eating properly or taking care of myself.

How can i make no contact easier? How can i stop missing him?

I think you should write down a list of the reasons that you ended it with him. Always go back to that if you're feeling a bit weak.

Im sorry to hear that you've got an injury. I guess staying in your house isn't doing you any favours either. Can you get out and go places? That would help.

It's ok to grieve for something that you thought may go well, but it didnt turn out that way.

You need to block. You are craving the dopamine hit. Block and distraction, it's the only way.

I'm in the same situation as you OP and it's just awful. My bf messaged me today and I've not replied.

I just feel confused and stunned somehow even though i was left no choice but to walk away..

We were together too long for the cons list to do anything, we were together over a decade.

Currently bed bound besides toilet and shower so really struggling with any distracting myself. He didnt visit me in hospital once and knows im home and hasnt checked on me.

Its his birthday tomorrow and its the first we wont be spending together in 11 years and he's not even thinking of me.. i just miss him.

Probably right about the dopamine hit aswell 😔

You need a distraction from you phone.

So what do you like doing lying down?

Knit a jumper?
Read crime novels?
Jigsaws, drawing, holiday plan, you could do an online free course about well anything really, Roman history, rainforests?

You have to rest so if you can try and not waste things time checking WhatsApp you might start to feel.better.

Can you invite a friend round to make tea and give you some gossip?

You said you had to leave so I am presuming he wasn't showing love and care whilst in the relationship, he's hardly likely to show it now.

You know that if you contact him it won't go well.

And you'll hate yourself.

You can do this 💪

@frozendaisy you're right, he wasnt showing me love. I think he thinks he was, maybe he was but if thats the case, his love is very different to mine..

@PaminaMozart 💪🏼 thank you x

Dont force healing, just ride the waves of emotion without guilt and try to understand why the attachment to someone/something that is not the best for you/your life is so strong.

Be gentle to yourself no matter what and no negative self talk.

• read books
• watch movies
• online shopping? maybe you need a few pieces in your wardrobe for your new life
• plan a haircut
• exercise if you can, stretches at home - just move your body
• declutter
• get rid or hide away memories of him
• plan your next holiday or even a trip somewhere close in your own neighborhood
• pick up old / new hobbies
• listen to your favourite songs
• journal
• make new friend / meet people that don’t know him

BLOCK his number because if he contacts you chances are that all you will go back to zero and waste any progress and DELETE his number so if you feel tempted to contact him you are unable to.

If you are not ready to delete messages you can download them on your phone so at least it will not show on your active list.

and if you can’t do any of the above list because of your injury, you can plan it - get on youtube and find people who create content about your interests, follow them, watch them and start planing. Write on paper.

No wonder you're so down you need to be easier on yourself.

I would definitely block him for now as the constant looking if he's messaged will only make you feel worse. But if you need a good cry let it out, it's OK to feel how you do.

You need a distraction so have a look at some series you can get stuck into on Netflix or similar, even reading is great way to focus on something else.

Prioritise getting better, you can't pour from a empty cup as they say.

Get a load of series to watch on Netflix. Immerse in it. Plan your day eg shower at such and such a time. Go to living room for pm. Eat dinner at such and such. Read. Little changes each day to give you a routine. I had to do this while confined after surgery just after my husband left.

"Currently bed bound besides toilet and shower so really struggling with any distracting myself. He didnt visit me in hospital once and knows im home and hasnt checked on me."

Keep on reading that over and over.