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Original poster

Call him out or just block and move on?

34 replies

HJ82 · 27/03/2024 16:14

Long story... sorry, just really need some girlie advice here. Try to keep it brief.

I started very casually seeing a man in April 2022. In October 22 I suggested dating and getting to know each other better. We went on a few dates and things were good but he wasn't as available as I needed for a relationship, so I ended it. At the time I knew he had an "ex" and a 3 year old. Same situation as myself. He worked a lot and co-parented full time (prob a lie)

I'd been to his house - very much a mans house, no sign of wife/girlfriend. There were bottles and baby accessories, jungle gym etc which I thought was weird at the time as his DD was older, but he said he'd just kept the things and hadn't bothered getting rid of yet.

Fast forward to 2024 and I randomly ran into him amongst 1000's of people at an event, we decided to start things up again. HOWEVER Facebook suggested him as a friend this morning and I have since done some digging.... He has 2 children, not one. Never mentioned the 2nd child, which turns out was born exactly when we met in '22. Should I confront him with this information? Why on earth would a cheater have this info public on FB lol. I've met his friends multiple times. So them knowing me didn't present a huge red flag in terms of him still being with her. Obviously I now feel played as some gullible side chick (gross). Even if they were separated (I truly hope so) and had a moment back together in 2021 before she fell pregnant with the 2nd, he was still dishonest and has never mentioned this 2nd child to me! Obvs him saying my ex just gave birth when we met would have made me run, so I understand why he hid that!! ewww.

I feel like I have to call him out on this! How can one really know the truth if he's single or not? Message the ex on FB? Good grief no. I do have some feelings now, which makes this really difficult. Never thought I'd be in this position. We share a lot about both our DD's lives too. I know the best thing to do is forget this person due to the dishonesty. What would you ladies do?

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 28/03/2024 08:14

Agree that you should hit him where it hurts (i.e. his ego). Tell him you've met someone else and that you've decided to move on with them as you're more sexually compatible. Thank him for the time you've had together as it's helped you realise what you really want in a man (ie. not him).

Sgtmajormummy · 28/03/2024 08:32

I’d “like” all the relevant information on his Facebook, then block on all media.
After that you can walk away from the drama and never contact him again. You’ve dodged a bullet.

Seaoftroubles · 28/03/2024 08:41

If you're still seeing him l would definitely call him out on his lies.Whats the point of fabricating a reason for dumping? His behaviour is reason enough.Then block.

Original poster
HJ82 · 28/03/2024 10:01

Monkeybusiness09 · 28/03/2024 08:09

Block. He's a liar so he will never be honest with you. He will reel you back in with lies and excuses.

My friend was seeing a guy,all going good or so she thought. She had been to his home, met his friends etc. Turns out he was hiding the fact that his ex was almost 9 months pregnant with his child. He knew time was running out and eventually told her two weeks before ex gave birth. He tried to say he only found out, didn't know she was pregnant. He was there for the birth and soon after rang my friend to see if she was around. She met up with him and whilst they were out the ex was ringing his phone. My friend asked him to answer that there might be something wrong and his response was " if there is, she can ring my mother and my mother will tell me". My friend walked out and felt sick to her stomach about his treatment of the ex who had just given birth. I might add ex was 40, he was 30 and friend was 35, so not young as such.

He told lies from the start and all the signs were there.

the Audacity of these men!

OP posts:
Original poster
HJ82 · 28/03/2024 10:02

Sgtmajormummy · 28/03/2024 08:32

I’d “like” all the relevant information on his Facebook, then block on all media.
After that you can walk away from the drama and never contact him again. You’ve dodged a bullet.

hahah just type "congratulations"

OP posts:
whitenoisemachine · 28/03/2024 10:04

Block and move on.

You'd be asking for honesty from a person who has been dishonest with you from day dot. He will gaslight you and won't be honest. He will probably ignore you anyway. Chalk it up to experience.

outsidethemug · 28/03/2024 15:47

The sensible thing is to block and move on but I simply wouldn't be able to do it, I'd have to have the argument

writergirl007 · 28/03/2024 18:30

You're not asking for honesty - as some people have suggested.
You're calling him out on his lies and the aim is to make him feel crap (as you probably do). You can also word it to make it sound like your might tell the kids' mum. I'm not sure if you should tell her though.

I was in a similar situation once - guy off OLD masquerading as single. I found his wedding pics online from 6 months previously. They had a child and another on the way. I threatened to tell his wife and his responses indicated he was terrified. I didn't contact her but it made me feel better thinking of the sleepless nights he was now having.
The moral is... make him sweat, don't let him off.

Original poster
HJ82 · 28/03/2024 19:55

writergirl007 · 28/03/2024 18:30

You're not asking for honesty - as some people have suggested.
You're calling him out on his lies and the aim is to make him feel crap (as you probably do). You can also word it to make it sound like your might tell the kids' mum. I'm not sure if you should tell her though.

I was in a similar situation once - guy off OLD masquerading as single. I found his wedding pics online from 6 months previously. They had a child and another on the way. I threatened to tell his wife and his responses indicated he was terrified. I didn't contact her but it made me feel better thinking of the sleepless nights he was now having.
The moral is... make him sweat, don't let him off.

My guy friends are like: go along like nothings happened and then see him for a drink and call him out. Need to see the fucker squirm. Can’t be sending a text. He won’t bother replying to that. 🤔 tbh I do want to see his reaction. Throw him the bill and walk out.

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