I come from a very close knit family. I grew up with two loving parents, amazing hands on grandparents and gaggle of aunts and uncles. Always in each others lives.
We lost my mum ten years ago. She had been sick for about a decade before that since i was teen. i was in my early 20s when she died. i also have a sister whose a couple of years older. My mum had two siblings - her brother who we are still very close to and a sister who we were extremely close to growing up as her kids are a similar age to us.
My aunt was never great with helping with grandparents etc but my mum always defended her and said family is family is and she's my sister etc. When she got sick my aunt basically made no effort. she was a teacher and had long holidays but used them to go away lots rather than spend time with her sick sister and give us a break or take my sister and i out. this was particularly hurtful in the last few months after we got the terminal diagnosis. My sister had a six month old baby at the time and my dad and i were really struggling but she did nothing.
After my mother's death she made zero effort with us despite my sister being pregnant and having a one year old and me also struggling mentally after also loosing a close friend 8 weeks after losing my mum. it was a really dark time for us and she did nothing to support us at all - not even a phone call to see how we were. She didn't even bother sending my sister a card on her birthday the following year. she's made a bit more of an effort with me especially in the run up to my wedding and sends my daughter a gift every year (despite not speaking to me at all except in group chats otherwise) but nothing to my sister's kids and i don't think she's spoken to my sister at all since my grandfather died 5 years ago.
Her son is getting married, he lives abroad and also not close anymore though we were extremely close as kids as we are only six months apart in age. She's invited us all (sister, dad etc) to a lunch to celebrate his wedding. We've all decided we won't go. I feel sad about it. i don't miss her from my life, there's nothing to miss, and don't really want to go to the wedding but saying no feels like i'm closing the door on the relationship - or what little there is of it. We've never had a bust up we just don't talk and there's a lot of anger and hurt at her. We only haven't had as bust up cos we love our uncle and don't want to make things awkward for him. I am also 20 weeks pregnant and she doesn't even know - the wedding lunch is also on the equivalent day in this pregnancy i gave birth to my daughter.
I feel so sad it's come to this. My mother would be devastated to see where this relationship has gone. i don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones but its making me feel very low. Just wanted someone to talk to. Thanks for reading.