I have been with my partner 8 years and we have a 7 month old son (first child). We used to communicate well and didn't really argue much as it just didn't get to that point often. Since DS was about 8 weeks old, we have argued so so much. I know that can be normal in the beginning with lack of sleep etc but things have just progressively got worse.
DS had colic for weeks in the beginning, it was the middle of a massive heat wave, I had preeclampsia and was on meds for that, I was just a bit of a hot mess. I was very snappy with my partner and he just annoyed me in general. I apologised for my snappiness within a few weeks as I realised I wasn't always being reasonable but I was overwhelmed as a FTM navigating the first few weeks of postpartum life. We were good for a bit, but then we started to disagree on absolutely everything.
We agreed when I was pregnant that DS would have 2 days in nursery and one with my mother (the Mondays with me and Fridays with him while the other works). Then he changed this and said 'oh I'll work from home the one day and can look after him while I work'. This wouldn't work as he's in meetings often and wouldn't be able to give DS the attention he needs, so that was an argument. He also said when was pregnant that he wouldn't take the baby to his dads house (his own decision) as his dad has 4 dogs, smokes indoors and it can be a bit of a mad house there. Then baby comes along and he's wanting to take him there often and also said he doesn't see a problem when the baby is crawling even though the house is not the cleanest and the dogs literally jump all over you when you walk through the door and hurt us let alone a baby. Then it was me 'being out of the house too much' with DS even though he was working anyway? He's way too relaxed around our 2 dogs to the point I get nervous leaving DS with him. I know he would not intentionally let him come to harm, but he's just so lax with everything (he fell asleep while holding the baby just yesterday). He's blaming the tiredness on the fact he's sleeping on the sofa but that's his choice 😂 got to laugh. These may seem like small things but he said one thing when I was pregnant, then did another when baby was born and it just took me by suprise. He's constantly napping after work (he works from home all week and has the occasional office day) and he's not helping me with the baby unless I ask him to do something, then I'm usually met with a sigh. When I tell him how I feel he tells me 'most of what comes out of your mouth is nonsense' and I was told to f off tonight when I told him I'm exhausted and would appreciate him not napping straight away after work when I need to shower and have five. I just don't feel respected at all anymore and I can be mid sentence and he cuts me off or speaks to someone else. I feel invisible to him. He then walks in the kitchen as I'm feeding the baby this evening and says 'When you're back in work we're going our seperate ways so you need to figure out what you wanna do house wise',then walks back out 🤯 I have tried with him these last few months and get nothing back, he just doesn't respect my feelings and it's exhausting. Would you say based on his behaviour that he just didn't want to try in the first place? He really wanted a baby so the way he has changed in a short space of time has suprised me.
Sorry for the long post, not entirely sure on the point of it. I am back in work in 5 weeks and as we own a house together, if this is officially the end of the relationship, he will buy me out of the house and me and DS will move out (he's mentioned in past argument he wants to stay here). He won't leave in the meantime and stay at his dads he's refusing, and I don't have any where to go myself as my mother has no room for me there. Did not expect to find myself in this situation! Just want to do what's best for me and my beautiful boy.