Ladies who have separated how did you know it was time.. (it's a long one please bare with me)
Last year my husband admitted that he had a drug addiction. When we first met he did say he had previously 'tried things' but definitely made out like it was more of a one off thing... E.g at a stag do in ibiza. Turns out he basically takes cocaine everytime he goes out with his mates which is why he is so horrendous the next day and unable to function / parent. Although he's reduced his use since I found out he has no intrest in stopping (I have asked)... More so because he said he can't and he would need to give up alcohol to stop him getting the urge which he would never do. It makes me so anxious and I'm convinced he's going to end up seriously ill or having a heart attack!
Since this all came out I just can't see how I'll trust him again. How can someone hide this from you for 8 years?? I'm continually told that it's no big deal as all his friends / colleagues in his industry all do it (he works in finance) ...and that he has reduced it etc. It's revealed how different we are and feels like we are growing up and apart rather than together. If I look back and think about the type of husband I envisioned he just isn't that. For example.. He doesn't appreciate how much I do for our children, the house and him, whilst also working part time and running a business (my friends have commented that I'm basically a married single parent). I'm responsible for 90% of sorting the kids and the other 10% i have beg for help. He's not complementary at all. I've also recently started a new job and he's once again shown no level of support or intrest. He's so negative where as I am generally a positive person. We parent so differently...
At his Christmas party 2 months ago I couldn't help but notice how the other husbands would continually check in on their wives whilst also mingling. Whilst mine couldn't even remember to order me a drink whilst he was getting one for himself.
We have 2 kids (3 & 5) together and the thought of separating is so scary especially as he is the higher earner and I dont know how I'd be able to support me and the kids. We've tried couples therapy which was helpful in some ways but also revealed that he is quote happy with where we are at but I am definitely not.. I can't see how this will work long term and I really feel like I deserve some level of happiness and to be with someone who loves me wholeheartdly, is able to show it and doesn't do drugs everytime they go out. Does that exist???