Just feel it's the end of the road

[Sofedupagain]

Hi there,
I am a regular poster but have name changed for this.
Married for 18 years, 2dc.
I don't work outside the home. I feel so trapped.
DH is a fairly quiet man unless he knows someone well. I've just had a 'conversation' with him which went like: Me: "I feel so sorry for ds sometimes". (awaiting assessment, and his sister was picking on him over something silly).
No reply. Only 2 of us in the kitchen. I just wanted him to engage. Acknowledge I said something. Say 'I understand'. I asked him if he heard what I said. He replied that he did, but I didnt ask a question so he didn't think he had to reply. This is just one small example.
I really feel he has no interest in me anymore. No respect. And quite honestly, I feel he couldn't be arsed. He's all about himself, is not interested in doing anything at the weekends, I have to coax him to get off the couch to get out with the kids. It's always me pushing, pushing. I honestly don't know what to do or where to go. He is not depressed. Though I suffer with anxiety and depression.
I have no money of my own, which is so ridiculous, considering when we met I earned twice as much. I was more than happy 10 years ago to leave work after being made redundant. I wanted to bring up the kids who we had been trying for a long time.
I cherish the children and do not want them to see me upset. I can't live another 50 years like this. I've never felt so unwanted, or disliked, and cannot imagine ever being intimate with him again. I don't know what I am asking here, sorry for the rambling post. I have no where to go but I feel I cannot stay like this anymore.

What happened to your redundancy money?

It wasn't much, and it went towards the mortgage, bills and IVF.

Honey I just read your post and you know what it sounds like you r both kind of stuck basically in a rut .
the best advise is this would you first think of seeing a counsellor as you may really need to offload and be helped doing this just to look at everything going on . If your finding it helpful you maybe much better equipped to then tackle why there is poor communication in ur relationship . Sometimes we all just need a good kick in the arse to get everything righted again .
may I ask r u in anyway perimenopausal ? If not ingnore if you are go down and see your GP

wishing you the very best honestly your going to be ok and with the right tools sort this out .

I mean the chat thing every man in my extended family plus my hubby they don't chat much. Typical men lol but the other things maybe you do need to sit and chat. I actually had to do that last year and tbh hubby didn't even realise I felt I always had to ask him to do things and since we talked things have changed and hey even tho we never argued about it it's nice not to have to say are you going to take kids out or do this job or that very much now

Yanbu OP, my ex husband was like this. Funny, but he managed to talk to me when he initially wanted to get in my knickers -_- once that was, in his mind, garanteed he stopped bothering. Took all my money, refused to work, never helped with the kids. I tried for years to gee him up but ultimately cut my losses. Much happier now.

Thanks very much for the replies. Food for thought.