Divorcing abusive H abroad- handhold please

[greenviolets]

I’m finally, after months of “trying”, going to divorce my emotionally abusive (to me and dc) husband. We are in another country on a spousal visa for his job and me and dc (not his bio kid or adopted) will have to return home. I’m terrified- no close friends or family here, no childcare support, I work FT and want to stay in the flat but my salary doesn’t cover rent so I will be paying the last couple months of rent out of the savings I got when we divided our money. It’s not a complicated divorce, H isn’t contesting, we own no property, they have DIY divorce in this state and we are splitting the assets 50/50 - but it’s fucking traumatic to be going through this. Please tell me it’s going to be ok. That my poor dc who loves it here will be ok leaving everything behind. That at 35 knocking on 36 my life isn’t over, that maybe I will still have the dc I never could bring myself to have with my awful soon to be ex H. I feel so low this afternoon. He won’t leave, and he keeps wanting me to talk about the divorce.

Are you in the US? I did this when I was 37, the kids were his though and I had to stay. It all worked out in the end. Traumatic as all hell divorcing with ZERO support though.

Yes, in a big city in the US. I’ve spoken to 2 family members on the phone today but just been walking around kind of disassociated. Dc doesn’t know yet. It will break her heart even though he’s not even a great stepdad.

Im in Massachusetts, very civilized state when it comes to divorce but it sucked big time. Im sorry you have to leave though if thats not what you want. Id have given my right arm to go home to family. I couldnt take the kids though and it was really hard at the beginning with ZERO support and all the animosity and aggression from him and his family.
I understand you being sad for your child but seriously it will work out in the long run, its better than being stuck here with no one.

My dear you are going to be absolutely ok your a Brillant mum ensuring that your child doesn’t grow up in a household where abuse is taking place in your case emotional abuse . Wishing you the very best again you will be ok … your strong, fierce and that’s why you’ll be just fine

You’re going to be fine OP when you’re free of him. 36 is still plenty young to make the most of life. DC are resilient and I’d say more likely to thrive if mum is happy. Stay strong, this will pass and you’ll be through it soon.