Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting back with an ex?

4 replies

Greatbritish · 24/03/2024 17:31

We dated for a year. He officially ended it, but only did so as he knew I was going to.

I was fed up of being an option, not a priority. We'd have something in the diary and it would get cancelled last minute as his 10 yr old son decided he wanted to stay at dad's to hang out with him rather than go to mums. Ex has son 5/7 nights a week and son is very much a daddy's boy. Son didn't know about me, so ex wouldn't tell him he already had plans. Final straw was we had talked about going away for a much needed weekend on a specific date, but then he booked in a football match for that date.

We've been in regular touch since we split 4 years ago. Had a hook up before Christmas-intense texting led to him sending selfies led to me driving over that night. Last night was another evening of intense texting and him sending over selfies. His son was there, so I stayed home. We'd bumped into each other yesterday morning and he hugged me long and hard as a greeting.

Now that son is 14, I'd like to give things another go. I don't know if he would. He's not the sort to say. We were friends for years before we got together. And then that was me saying to him "if you want anything to happen, I'm up for it. It's on you to arrange it." It took him a month to invite me to go buy some work shirts with him (I kid you not).

I know the MN mantra is let him chase. But he's not going to ask to meet up, as that's not who he is.

I don't want to ask, as I think he ended things, so he needs to suggest we meet up.

The other option is to bide my time and see how the texting goes. If I end up driving over again, I can start a F2F conversation, which will be so much easier than all the texting!

WWYD?

OP posts:
Joshua5 · 12/05/2024 14:59

Does the texting usually lead to hook ups? I'd ask him if he seriously wants a committed relationship or is he just wanting a casual relationship.

samestyle · 12/05/2024 15:11

But he's able to send selfies and text you for a hook up so he'd be capable of communicating more if wanted a relationship, he does sound lazy and not that bothered for anything serious, especially when you see him when he feels like it. His actions after you see him tells you what you need to know if he goes cold/silent then you know he's using you.

Justmuddlingalong · 12/05/2024 15:17

He doesn't sound like much has changed. Texting and you nipping over for sex isn't suggesting he wants a relationship, he's getting exactly what he wants. Set your bar higher and leave him in the past.

Snowpaw · 12/05/2024 15:19

How old are you? What do you want your own future to look like I guess is my question. Are you looking for long term commitment / children of your own / falling in love / buying a house with someone etc? Is he going to offer you that future?

You have been in regular contact with him whilst split up for four times longer than the relationship lasted. It doesn't seem a good omen.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page