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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Narcissist situation - please advise

2 replies

Pantaloons99 · 24/03/2024 12:09

I've been on other threads about this. As the week has passed things have become frightening to me. I have an awful abusive sibling who has managed to behave relatively well yet things have come to a head.

I'm very unwell. I have many severe health issues. They don't look like they will ever improve. I have help with 13 year old ( grandparents) and sees father regularly. Relationship with cousins will now end. Child has seen them alot and is confused. I just can't tolerate anymore of the abnormal behaviour. My child often is out playing all day so minimal interaction with the adult sibling when they've stayed. They love their cousin. The sibling is going to people, even my ex just because I haven't replied to a message. ( Setting a story basically as I think they realise I see them clearly now,) Because I'm so unwell I'm worried for my child in the future. They are very smart but Neurodivergent - I fear this sibling would emotionally destroy them. My ex has been given some watered down nonsense ref a fall out from the sibling. I haven't given ex full detail other than 'just some behaviour I'm uncomfortable with. '

There is a very long list of incredibly unpleasant behaviour that if one was aware of may understand why I don't want my child near this person anymore. I'm the overdramatic in eyes of ex I believe. My child also only has been given basic info by me.

I just want amicable distance without stirring up a nest. This sibling keeps calling a family member about this and I worry what's going to happen being so vulnerable and ill. I have done nothing but quietly distance and they're already stirring up inside I can see.

If my ex were to share anything I told them I believe it could be dangerous for me. So how do I protect my child here? Do I need my ex to see and understand the extent of what this person has done and can do?

OP posts:
MrsSlocombesCat · 24/03/2024 12:29

Tell your ex you’re going no contact with your sibling and would appreciate it if he did the same. He doesn’t need to understand anything except this. Say you have your reasons and it’s non negotiable. Be firm and clear about it.

Pantaloons99 · 24/03/2024 12:45

MrsSlocombesCat · 24/03/2024 12:29

Tell your ex you’re going no contact with your sibling and would appreciate it if he did the same. He doesn’t need to understand anything except this. Say you have your reasons and it’s non negotiable. Be firm and clear about it.

I agree this is the best approach. My fear is if I'm not longer here, I often end up in hospital long periods. In my absence, whatever that might be, I believe my reasons for doing this will be seriously undermined without details. I know that details regards certain things would change that. Yet, that is incredibly dangerous I believe

OP posts:
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